Eh. I don't really like it.. I suggest to not use the whole render, because like this one it's really big. The size is too big in my mind, make it smaller. Also choose a background that would mix or fit with the render, this one doesn't. Maybe add in some C4D's set them to screen & have fun with it. Read some tutorials on C4D's to be good with them. The text is weird, since it's edgy/choppy.
First time for you though so