MW2 no longer has VAC protection due to an exploit that allowed you to access the shell of the server. However this hack currently doesn't work on the new versions of MW2 and I would suggest using Lobby Tools by Scoudem instead. Also please note that you can't actually use any commands on the server unless you force hosted it before you started queuing unless you have a way to migrate the host to being yourself.
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Put it into (Mw2 Liberation) or other loaders for mw2
You can yes
You should explain that he has to downgrade his mw2 to 1.2.208 before using
The current version of mw2 1.2.211 definitely WILL NOT work with liberation
and yeah you can play online with it after downgrading but be warned, its mainly just modders on that version now.