WOWWOWOWO GETTING ALOT BETTER, but again, less words more typing. Maybe you can put more freeze frames in there to make it look cool. Also before you use like one of the features you should name it first and then use it.
Only thing you need is more editing. It shouldn't be a continuing video of you playing, it should be more like a montage. The transitions are way too stocky.
Make it more like this style of video
Kinda hard to beat but more so like this style.