Thread: Hey

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  1. #1
    yugurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Back on friday
    My Mood


    I feel lonely. Tbh it's weird, i have a girlfriend and some friends but still i feel lonely.
    I don't know why. I breakdown every other day and cry. Most times my girlfriend is present and tries to help me.
    Most of the time i calm down and everything is okay again after about 30 minutes.
    When i cry i think of my dead grandad that died 11 years ago (weird?)
    I miss him a lot. I also think of jealousy, Im quite jealous. (Sorry if i mess up the spelling, writing in notepad)
    To give some backstory i started feeling bad about 4 months ago.
    My girlfriend and i have been together for about a year now. She is diagnosed with depression.
    I think it kinda has rubbed of on me. She has tried to dump me multiple times when having panic attacks.
    She tells me it is because she's not worthy of me. I didn't understand what she meant until i myself started
    having the same feelings. I had a friend before summer that i wasn't close to but he was still my friend.
    I left for a couple weeks on vacation and when i came back my girlfriend had hung out a lot with him
    They had become really good friends. After this i started disliking my friend more and more.
    We quit talking or meeting. My girlfriend and him have been hanging out quite a bit since then.
    I think he is in love with my girlfriend and she has also meintioned the same concerns to me.
    I'm very jealous. I can look at it and think that it's all fine but deep inside im always worried.
    I'm kinda going all over the place with this, sorry.
    I feel like a disappointment. Mostly to my father, I don't do anything. I just waste away.
    I have all these things i could do but instead as soon as i'm alone and have a chance
    to do anything i just feel bad. I don't know if i want too see a psychiatrist or not.
    I feel like i would walk in and sit down and tell him/her that there isn't really anything wrong with my life.
    Im just sad. I don't know if i even want to live with my girlfriend anymore, Maybe i don't love her.
    Maybe i should find somebody new. Problem is im socially awkward and won't be able to find somebody new.
    Sometimes i think i love my girlfriend, i just don't know. I don't get that happy feeling when i see her anymore.
    We never do anything. Either i'm sad or she is. I can't help her when she's sad. She doesn't want to be huged or taken care of.
    It just makes her feel guilty. I feel like she doesn't want me anylonger even if she tells me she does.
    I just don't know. For some reason i came to think of you guys so i thought i would write this down and post it.
    No idea why, haven't been active in ages. Kinda miss forums. I feel like forums was my way of socializing for a couple years.

    Ok wall of text. fuck it, ive written it and it feels stupid to delete it instead of following through with it.

  2. #2
    No0bzDown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    My Mood
    Dude , stay calm , many people have been through your situation. What happened just happened. I would suggest you to sit and think for some days about what is going on with you, try to understand what you did wrong, most of all. I would also suggest you to get things clear with your girlfriend. Imo , if she does make you feel bad, I would tell you to just get some distance from her for a while , because remember that everything you have in your life is to make you feel good and happy, and not to bring you down. Dont think of your friend and your girlfriend, you should rather be focusing on yourself, because you will lose the most valuable thing in life, yourself. Being alone or feeling alone is not always bad. It was meant to happen for a reason. Personally , I believe being alone is a good situation , but a weird as well , because despite the fact that you feel depressed and sad, it gives you plenty of time to reconsider about everything in your life. Being alone will give you confidence as well , it will make you see things clearer. Being alone can lead you to a situation where you will need to take actions on your own, giving you the opportunity to understand that you are the one in control of your life , and you can do anything on your own, without assistance. See? Loneliness has its advantages as well , which you cant see at the moment , but when you will be out of it , you will understand the positives of it. This period of your life is really bad , but what I can tell you for sure at the moment is that you will get over it sometime.

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