Aight here are 2 jokes I picked up at school that I thought were funny.
A boy holding a dead frog in one hand walks into a whore house and says that he wants to have sex with any girl that has an STD. One girl approaches and says that she has AIDS and will have sex with him. They have sex and when he's leaving she asks him why he wanted to have sex with her since she has AIDS. He says:
I'm going to go home and there is a babysitter there who I'll have sex with. Then when my parents get home my dad will give the babysitter a ride home, and she'll give him a blow job in the car. When my dad gets home he'll have sex with my mom and then in the morning my mom will have a quickie with the mailman and he's the bastard that killed my frog.
A wife is having an affair with a guy when the son comes home from school early; the son hides in the closet to watch (messed up kid huh?). While the kid is still in the closet the dad comes home from work early and so the other guy has to get in the closet to hide. The boy says: Sure is dark in here. The man tells him to be quiet, the boy then asks him if he wants to buy a baseball. The man says no and the boy reminds him that his dad is out there the man asks how much and the boy replies: $150. The man pays up. Later that week the wife is having another affair with the same man and the same thing happens and the boy says: Sure is dark in here. The man asks him to be quiet and then the boy asks if he'd like to buy a baseball mitt. The man asks how much and the boy tells him $350 the man pays up again. Later that day the dad asks his son if he wants to play catch. The boy informs him that he can't because he sold his mitt and ball for $500. The dad becomes angry with his son and tells him he shouldn’t have done that to his friends. He tells his son that he is taking him into confession so he can be forgiven of his greed. The boy gets into the confession box and says: Sure is dark in here. To which the priest replies: Don’t start that shit again you’re in my closet now.
Typing them out instead of saying them makes them less funny.
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