My name is Mahdy. I am a 20-years-old now part-time college student. I was diagnosed with UC in 2010. Before then, I lived a normal life. I used to eat right, play right, live life, right. Everything used to be perfect. I used to wake up every morning wanting to start a new day because of what I might discover. One day I started having bloody diarrhea and it wouldn’t stop – and this continued for 2 years until in 2010, my junior year of high school, I saw my primary doctor, he referred me to a GI doctor, a scope was done and on December 31st, 2010, my whole life changed. I got diagnosed with UC and from then on, everything was different.
My flare ups weren’t bad in high school. I tried trying out for the basketball team but it was hard to make the team when you spent more time in the bathroom than on the court. My bowel was really aggressive: I had to use the bathroom constantly, but I never really had much pain. My UC wasn’t under control in high school, I would have my rough moments, but it wouldn’t destroy me. The only ones who knew of my illness would be those closest to me.
Let’s fast forward to the fall after I graduated high school and started college or should I say, the beginning to the worst day of life. In September of 2012, my UC triggered bad and it wouldn’t stop. Severe pain, no appetite, severe diarrhea, dehydration, yet I fought through all this as it was my first few months in college and I didn’t want to miss out. October 29, 2012 I finally went to the hospital and I never would expect to still be going to the hospital this day. From October 29, 2012 until today, November 4th, 2014, it has not stopped. I have been in and out the hospital over 60 times. I have lost two years of college due to being sick. I have had 5 doctors so far say “Sorry, Mahdy. There’s nothing left we can do for you. You need to find a more advanced specialist” and kick me to the side. I have had my insurance cut my Remicade. Cut my daily IBD meds. I have had to pay over $4,000+ for medication. I was on (and still am) prednisone for so long, I now have Osteoporosis.
I am writing this thread because even after 2 years, even though my illness has made me sicker than ever, I haven’t given up. If it’s anything I learned from these two years (and others have learned, as well) is that I am a strong individual. Emotionally, physically and mentally I am drained, but never will I think of giving up. After being so sick for so long, I started enjoying and loving the simplistic things of life; like a butterfly flying outside, or a bee sucking the honey from the flower it needs.
What I suffer from is not just a “tummy ache”, or “shit stain” like the way I have been ridicule. I would get mocked because my disease causes my intestines inner lining to rip apart, causing me to every so often have diarrhea. I have been called “Cancer boy”, I have been by people on here they wish I get colon cancer (which is a huge risk given my illness) and that all this is for attention.
For those people, let me tell you something – You have no idea what it is like to live a life where you rarely feel apart of. Live a life of being in a hospital and when I would be in a hospital, I would be in an isolated room where people would need to wear gowns and gloves so they wouldn’t get me sicker. I felt, and still feel like an experiment
Right now I am still dropping massive weight and losing a lot of blood. My insurance got caught when I finally got approved for surgery by the old insurance company I used to have, until they cut me. They approved the removal of my colon surgery in exchange I pay, or find a way to pay $44k. My weight is currently below 98 and it is dropping. My doctors’ have given up on me and told me due to my case being so severe, they are sorry but have no other options only for me to see new opinions.
I now have both: Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis and am typing this from the hospital. My entire colon is inflamed, I have had clostridium difficile (short for cdiff) which is an infection on top of the colon 11 times and now the doctors are saying the only thing left is to have surgery and remove my entire colon: and, that still will not cure me of my IBD. I will still live the life I have now. I am currently suffering from severe pain, 15+ bowel movements a day, I have dropped down from 165 pounds in 2012 to now not able to get above 89 pounds in 2014 and a bunch of other complications.
But even with all this, even with all the odds against me, I have not given up. I wake up everyday, despite the agonizing pain I am in with a smile on my face. I stay positive, even though the last two years my home has been a hospital; my mother have been nurses’ and my father’ have been doctors’. I stay smiling even though every doctor I have seen has no option for me. I stay smiling even though I have no option left. I stay smiling because life is beautiful. Because thanks to this disease, it has taught me to become the most mature person at the age of 20 and love and cherish every single moment of my life. I look at how beautiful the world is. I look at how beautiful life is. I spent more time in a hospital the past two years than in my own. My mother barely recognizes my face. My little sister, who looks up to me and loves me more than anyone in the world, has to see me suffer this dreadful disease and cries wishing I never had to live a life-like this. And, what is my answer to her? “Smile, because life is beautiful.”. And that is why she admires me so much – Because no matter what I am going through, because even though life is tearing me apart with these diseases – I will not give up. I will not let life defeat me. I will defeat it.
The point of this thread is so people understand life is beautiful. Whether you are sick or healthy, rich or poor, smart or dumb, your life is meaningful in your own ways and you matter. You matter to someone.
For anyone who is curious about what my health plans are, I am back to trying to make money I can online so I can pay for my medications on the side until I can get insurance again. Some of you must cherish your life because it is so beautiful in ways you can never see unless you were almost out.
The main thing I have learned is to not let anything put your face flat in the dirt. It’s been 2 years of sicknesses, doctors, hospitals and NOT giving up, and I’ve stuck through it because that little person left inside me said “Mahdy, keep going – keep pushing”. Let this be a reminder that you can do anything you want. Anything you set your mind to. Sick or not, rich or poor, everyone is significant in their own ways and never, ever let obstacles keep you down. Keep fighting, because life is so beautiful once you get to see how it’s really lived.
Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for being so compassionate and understanding.