Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 68
  1. #1
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Uterus
    Posts
    8,821
    Reputation
    781
    Thanks
    1,857
    My Mood
    Doh

    Cancerous shitposting | Part 2 - The Dickheads village

    This is a continuation of me previous part… (which has been moved to the spammers corner, I really think that's inappropriate that's why I'm posting the part 2 here on general, however feel free to move it again if you [and by you I mean the staff member reading this] think it still belongs in the spammers corner) Sorry for grammatical mistakes guys I wrote it half asleep

    As I was walking ahead of an unknown path, I couldn’t help but think where were we headed. When I was going to meet the so called “grand master”?

    - Liz, where are we headed?

    Liz turned her head to face mine and didn’t say a word. She seemed really calm, it made me feel calm too. As we were moving forward, I started to notice a small village ahead of us. I struggled to ask Liz what’s the name of that village but then I saw that we were walking towards it, maybe that’s where the “grand master” lives. About 2 hours later, we were almost at the village, but there seemed to be some kind of people living inside it. Strange people. Their voices could be hardly heard at all, however as we got closer to the village the voices started to intensify making them easier to understand.

    Can you imagine the voice of that little creep from “Lord of the Rings”? Gollum? It was like hearing a hundred of Gollums whispering in your hear. Once we approached the entrance of the village I could finally understand what the voices were saying…“R U TRYIN’ TO GET CS BOI?!”. Again with that CS thing? I couldn’t help but ask Liz why are they asking me to be a CS and who they were?

    - Welcome to the Dickheads village, - she said to me with a peaceful voice which now characterizes her persona.

    - Liz why are we here?

    Liz vanished in front of me leaving me alone in the middle of the Dickheads village. I started to look around, every light in every corner was shut off, houses looked inhabitated, the whole village seemed desert. So how come I could hear voices everywhere? Oh my god, am I turning insane?! Overwhelmed by my current situation I couldn’t help but started to run as fast as I could. The voices became louder and louder, from the trees ahead of me I could watch their red flashy eyes staring at me like I was some kind of prey for them. I quickly ran inside the nearest house, closed the door and in total panic reached for the nearby window to see what was going on outside.

    A hand then pocked my shoulder, I quickly turned to see what it was then I saw it..Liz had warned me about these kind of creatures and told me whatever to do not to fall for their lies.

    - Who are you?! - the animal asked me.

    - My name’s Elio, Liz took me here. She said we were headed to see the grand master.

    - So where’s Liz now?

    - I don’t know. She vanished in front of my eyes.

    I was really scared, what kind of creature could this be?

    - My name’s @HiesenBug, I’m the leader of this village. Come outside with me, don’t be afraid.

    What else could I do? I just followed him, hoping that everything would turn out alright for me. As we went in the middle of the village the red eyes that were lurking in the darkness of the trees started to come closer, I could actually see their faces. God they were awfully ugly. But their leader, @HiesenBug was the ugliest one.

    - So why this village got this kind of name? - I asked.

    - Well because we are all dickheads here. As you might have noticed we’re so freaking ugly that even we hate each other for that, that’s why we live in the trees around our houses, so we don’t see each other faces. - @HiesenBug replied.

    They seemed OK to me. Yes ugly but, hey, I don’t mind. I started to talk with their leader, but I couldn’t even finish my first sentence as one of them quickly approached me…

    - FUCK YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! IT IS MY DUTY TO FUCK WITH YOU! I AM A GIRL AND I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU HIT ON ME I AM NEVER GOING TO CONSIDER EVEN TALKING TO YOU…UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU’RE A FUCKING CS, THEN I WILL TALK TO YOU ONLY TO MESS WITH YOU!

    - Woah, woah, calm down @Unique Otaku, he’s not a CS. - said @HiesenBug as he reached to take her away.

    - How do you know? - she replied.

    - I can smell it. He’s not a CS.

    He then reached for me and started to sniff on me shoulder. I was once more scared. Am I in a fucking place full of lunatics?

    - Here, 90% of the population of General lives, - @HiesenBug told me, - so I guess since Liz left you then of course, she wants you to be a CS.

    - NO! NO! - I replied, - WAIT! I don’t think Liz wants me to be a CS, I’ve already told you she wants to take me to the grand master.

    - Right, right. Well you know I was at the grand master once too. He’s a good man, kind of weird sometimes, but a good man in overall.

    Hmm, I didn’t really know what to do at that moment, I just wanted to get away from there. The atmosphere in that village was awful. As I started to walk away from the mass, one of them followed me. It was @Sin.

    - Psst, - @Sin said to attract my attention, - hey. I saw you talked with @Unique Otaku, do you think she’s into me?

    - I have no way of knowing that I’m sorry.

    I was shocked but somehow heart-melted that he was so desperate that he reached to ask me something that stupid. Then I remembered, I was in the Dickheads village, it might have been a normal behavior here. I felt sorry for him, but I couldn’t let anything get in my way to find the grand master.

    - Hey you! STOP IT! STOP SHITPOSTING! - another voice could be heard saying me those exact words. Gosh, it was then that I really felt the need to just start running away like crazy! So that’s what I did, I ran as fast as I could. The terrain started to vibrate, trees’ roots started to get bigger and bigger and cracked the path towards me. It was like something, something dark, didn’t want me to leave that place, but as I said I was determined to do so.

    @HiesenBug then appeared in front of me, I was shocked to see him there, how could he be so fast that he just went from back to the village center to where I was now. He said: “IT WANTS TO EAT YOU!”. Say what? It wants to eat me? What wants to eat me?

    - @HiesenBug please, I thought you were a nice guy why are you doing this right now?

    - I am not doing anything, the force is.

    - What force?

    - The dick force. The force that rules our village. It eats everything that comes in its way, and you’re next.

    The trees’ roots were catching up on me feet as I was just starring horrified at @HiesenBug, I could hear voices everywhere shouting “YOU DESERVE CS!”. At this point I thought I’ve lost it, I thought that perhaps this was my last second in this world. Suddenly my whole life started to roll in front of my eyes like one of those flashbacks you see on Family Guy. Oh I used to be so happy! Yes, that “laziness” problem of mine was a concern after all, but still nothing compared to what I was going through at that moment.

    Every member of the village ran towards me, they all started to become darker and darker as they dissolved into some kind of mud. The mud became bigger and bigger and started to float. It came to me! I was covered in mud! I couldn’t see anything but I felt like I was hitting the ground. Next thing I know is I woke up away form the village; Liz was there, sitting next to me.

    - Where did you go?

    - I couldn’t stay. The force doesn’t allow my presence, so I just waited for you outside.

    - Something happened there Liz. What is this dick force they were talking about?

    - The dick force came to exist after some dickheads from the old General started to ruin our peace. Now it rules over the Dickheads village, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

    - But they did something to me, I was covered in mud. They all dissolved.

    - Yes, I know. They did that to other unfortunate guys too. Let’s get you to @Doc to check you out….

    In a flash light I was in a total different place, facing a total different person.

    - Who are you? - he asked.

    - I’m Elio, Liz took me here. She said you have to “check me” ?

    - Oh, I can see it in your eyes. Have you been contaminated?

    - If by “contaminated” you mean something regarding a satanic mud, then yes, I was.

    - Hurry up then! - @Doc shouted, - let’s do this as quick as possible.

    He run for his gadget, some kind of old fancy stethoscope with a gem on it. He placed the stethoscope right in the middle of me chest and told me not to breath for 10 seconds.

    - Yes, unfortunately, it is what I thought..

    - What? Please tell me!

    - You have cancer, Elio. I’m sorry.

    I couldn’t believe those words! The villagers of Dickheads gave me cancer.



    End. Part 3 coming soon…..
    Last edited by ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ; 07-10-2016 at 04:23 PM.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ For This Useful Post:

    [MPGH]Ace (07-11-2016)

  3. #2
    TheJoker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Highschool
    Posts
    4,028
    Reputation
    344
    Thanks
    3,389
    My Mood
    Angelic
    @♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ loved it bravo

    Gay




     










  4. #3
    Xiolest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Searching...
    Posts
    3,882
    Reputation
    290
    Thanks
    600
    My Mood
    Twisted
    So the gist of the story is you love cock?? heeey my type of man.

  5. #4
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Uterus
    Posts
    8,821
    Reputation
    781
    Thanks
    1,857
    My Mood
    Doh
    Quote Originally Posted by Xiolest View Post
    So the gist of the story is you love cock?? heeey my type of man.
    I think you have to read the story first before making any assumptions.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister J View Post
    @♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ loved it bravo
    Fuck off man, you really read it? I get really hyped by these kind of comments

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ For This Useful Post:

    [MPGH]Ace (07-11-2016)

  7. #5
    TheJoker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Highschool
    Posts
    4,028
    Reputation
    344
    Thanks
    3,389
    My Mood
    Angelic
    Quote Originally Posted by ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ View Post


    I think you have to read the story first before making any assumptions.


    - - - Updated - - -



    Fuck off man, you really read it? I get really hyped by these kind of comments
    yes, i actually have extreme reading spead and can finsh lord of rings book in a hour or less , and yes i loved it and you really want to you could possible even make more parts than just 3 or make a mini book with some chapters, each chapter a different section or a new experience that you will find on mpgh
    i well love this story and will be thrilled for the 3rd one

    Gay




     










  8. The Following User Says Thank You to TheJoker For This Useful Post:

    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ (07-10-2016)

  9. #6
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Uterus
    Posts
    8,821
    Reputation
    781
    Thanks
    1,857
    My Mood
    Doh
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister J View Post
    yes, i actually have extreme reading spead and can finsh lord of rings book in a hour or less , and yes i loved it and you really want to you could possible even make more parts than just 3 or make a mini book with some chapters, each chapter a different section or a new experience that you will find on mpgh
    i well love this story and will be thrilled for the 3rd one
    If you really mean it than thanks man! I will however keep up with the work

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ For This Useful Post:

    [MPGH]Ace (07-11-2016),TheJoker (07-10-2016)

  11. #7
    TheJoker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Highschool
    Posts
    4,028
    Reputation
    344
    Thanks
    3,389
    My Mood
    Angelic
    Quote Originally Posted by ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ View Post


    If you really mean it than thanks man! I will however keep up with the work
    and if i have to pay like 5$ to 10$ for a book or something i will do it to enjoy the reading

    Gay




     










  12. #8
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Uterus
    Posts
    8,821
    Reputation
    781
    Thanks
    1,857
    My Mood
    Doh
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister J View Post
    and if i have to pay like 5$ to 10$ for a book or something i will do it to enjoy the reading
    Nah I will keep posting them for free here I will do my best to encapsulate my whole experience on General since I've registered here.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ For This Useful Post:

    [MPGH]Ace (07-11-2016),TheJoker (07-10-2016)

  14. #9
    Eternity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Forever Ville.
    Posts
    10,656
    Reputation
    1810
    Thanks
    5,272
    I read the short "story" and I don't think anyone else can write something like this.
    Previous Names
    Eternity
    Azathoth


    Please press +Rep or Thanks if you find my work or found something I said helpful

    "Endless Void."



  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Eternity For This Useful Post:

    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ (07-11-2016),TheJoker (07-10-2016)

  16. #10
    Ace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    male
    Posts
    2,200
    Reputation
    817
    Thanks
    777
    My Mood
    Bored
    Your signature prevented me from reading the thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by cuckold cancer 8=D View Post
    I identify as a piece of shit.
    History
    Member - 12 June 2016

    Premium Member - 14 August 2016
    News Force Sports News - 17 September 2016
    Premium Seller - 23 September 2016


  17. #11
    Drama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    male
    Posts
    1,608
    Reputation
    223
    Thanks
    414
    My Mood
    Angelic
    I like the story!
    Wanna advertise your shop here? PM me!

    LIKE Grand Theft Auto (GTA)? Wanna get help? enjoy the game? JOIN the official GTA group page! (CLICK GREEN BOX BELOW)


    #1 Dumbasses on MPGH.
    Knives don`t even kill a fraction compared to guns so don`t give me the knife crap.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dab1996426 View Post
    The Only Way You Can Have PC Over Console Is If You Can Build A PC With Better Hardware Than The Console At The Same Price, Which You Can't.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dab1996426 View Post
    "I Mean Sure Yeah It Makes Sense, But It's No Damn Lifesaving Medal", Makes Sense That You'd Have A Medal For Being Justifiably Injured, But It's Not The Same As Earning A Medal That Involves Saving Someones Life
    Quote Originally Posted by Dab1996426 View Post
    "Once Again, Correcting Someones Improper Grammar Is Not An Attack On Their Person."



  18. #12
    arunforce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Gender
    male
    Location
    A place for amigos
    Posts
    22,135
    Reputation
    3067
    Thanks
    10,195
    My Mood
    Yeehaw
    @Hero has a village?




    v1.96 - Tutorials, Upgraded Town, Def Revamp
    v1.97 - Cutscenes/Quests, Friend List
    v1.98 - Classes, Necklace/Rings
    v1.99 - Guilds
    v2.00 - Open Beta


  19. #13
    Arrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Deadman wonderland
    Posts
    1,978
    Reputation
    503
    Thanks
    527
    My Mood
    Devilish
    Very nice.
    Liked it and waiting for part 3

  20. #14
    Six.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Posts
    37
    Reputation
    14
    Thanks
    30
    Read only 2 sentences and i scrolled down, Can't be arsed.

  21. #15
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Uterus
    Posts
    8,821
    Reputation
    781
    Thanks
    1,857
    My Mood
    Doh
    Quote Originally Posted by Six. View Post
    Read only 2 sentences and i scrolled down, Can't be arsed.
    you know you want ittt


    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Eternity View Post
    I read the short "story" and I don't think anyone else can write something like this.
    You little cunt. You still owe me one +rep

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ For This Useful Post:

    [MPGH]Ace (07-11-2016)

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Cancerous shitposting | Part 1 - The General
    By ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ in forum Spammers Corner
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 07-11-2016, 12:24 PM
  2. hacking pillage the village
    By bobbetta6 in forum Programming Tutorials
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-24-2009, 12:08 PM
  3. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 01-11-2009, 09:57 AM
  4. The Epicness Of Dave: Part II
    By Hyperion in forum Combat Arms Hacks & Cheats
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 08-12-2008, 01:49 PM
  5. South Park The Game part 1
    By branso in forum Visual Basic Programming
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-25-2008, 04:28 AM