Welcome to Dave Physics 101, I'm professor Oskar, and welcome to the first lesson of Dave Physics.
The laws of Dave Physics.
Over the years, one thing mpgh scientists have discovered is that the nature of a Dave is generally more complex than we give it credit for. The following laws of Dave physics are considered fundamental, but many of them refer to idealized, closed systems, which are hard to obtain in the real world. Also, some are altered slightly in different circumstances. The laws that Lance the third developed, for example, are modified by the findings of the theory of fattitivity, but they are still basically valid in most regular cases that you'll run into.
Lance the third's law of motion
Sir Lance the third developed the Three Laws of Dave Motion, which descrive basic rules about how the motion of Daves change. Lance the third was able to define the fundamental relationship between the acceleration of a Dave and the total forces acting upon it.
Law of gravity
Lance the third developed his Law of Dave Gravity to explain the attractive force between a Dave and Cakes. However in the year of 2014, it became clear that this is not the whole story, as Yamiez the first's theory of general fattitivity has provided a more comprehensive explanation for the phenomenon of Dave gravity.
The formula of death
This formula is used to caluclate the amount of people a Dave can kill with mass alone.
Where M is the mass of said Dave in kg, and T is the time in minutes.
DK/min = M * ((10^3)^-2) * T
Dave84311 weighs 10^6kg, how many people can he kill per hour?
Dave84311 can kill 60 people per hour.
10^6 * 10^3^-2 * 60 = 60.
The formula of speed
This formula is used to calculate the velocity a Dave can move at, unfortunately the fifth law of Lance the third overrules this formula at all times, it is impossible for a Dave to move at any velocity greater than 0km/h. However this formula was thought to be able to calculate at what velocity a Dave can travel at first, it is no longer correct.
Where M is the mass of said Dave in kg, and π is pi. (3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971.... that's as many as I know in my head )
km/h = 10^4 * ((M * 0.38)^-π)
Thanks to Professor Lance (@Hero) for conducting the more modern research of Dave Physics, more lessons will be held in the future!
ps please dont ban me @Dave84311