As much as I like submission, I'm simply not gay for you.
I just haven't made a "I'm straight" thread yet. But trust me, when I do. It'll be the most life-reaffirming shit you'll have ever skimmed through in your entire life.
So when you're down on all fours with a hand knuckles deep in your gay lover, reading that thread, you'll go; Oh man, I wish I was as brave as he is admitting to everyone that he's straight, it'll turn your gay heart so warm and fuzzy inside you won't know what to do, but I assume you'll cater a wedding, throw a pride parade or design colorful and fresh clothing for all the hipsters to wear.
That's the funniest shit I have ever skimmed through.