Balls on webcam?
Perform a lobotomy on myself with rusted pliers?
Fall into the event horizon of a black hole?
Overdose on homeopathic drugs?
Hour long lecture on the difference of moral systems ranging from rule utilitarianism, Universal Ethical Egoism and Strong Psychological egoism? Then subdivide those based on whether they are teleological or deontological moral systems?
Keep bothering Dave until he gives me trusted?
"We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter." ~ Denis Diderot