it wasnt a joke i almost killed my brother bcuz he was pissing me off and afterwards im really glad i didnt cus i'd feel like a dick but i still hate him and will no longer talk to him.
that will happen.... never.
I fight with my brother too, but nothing quite that bad. Typical brotherly relationship, but in your case a tad more serious. You both will get over it sometime I am sure. I doubt you'd kill him, especially if you thought past your anger and realized the consequences for doing something like that.
No apologies are needed when it is apparent there was a simple misunderstanding.
Tip 1: Ban alcohol. Rid your stash if you're underaged, and if you're over the age, then avoid places that you would be tempted to buy alcohol at.
Tip 2: Take it slow and one step at a time. It's very difficult to just revamp your life in a moment's notice. Try to avoid smoking if you can. If your friends are heavy smokers, start hanging out with other people who don't smoke.