I just seem like venting, i have to get this out, if you don't feel like reading then close now, because its about how my day has been, just just warning you now. . .
So the other day, Me and my friends where at walmart messing around causing trouble and we where just really bored and drunk, and we see one of our other friends there with this gf, and everyone thought that she was this other girl (Ashley) and i told them no its not! because she just moved away and already wants to come back cuz less then 48 hours she already had a felony, and i didn't think before talking and wasnt suppose to tell anyone that...
So my friend has a big mouth sorta like me and goes and tells Ashley's sister what i said and she starts bitching at me saying only fam is suppose to know that! i don't even know how you know this.. and im like Ashley told me because i was talking to her the other day about some of the problems i have been going through lately. and she starts to calm down and says if anyone ever finds out imma punch you! and im like i only told Lyndz and Jaclyn...shes says okay im just saying
So everything is going good for the rest of the night, im over at Lyndz house (a girl that is obsessed with me) and i do not like her at all but i was just bored and lonley and wanting something to do, so i go over there, i ask if we can bring the Wii down stairs to watch a movie on netflix she goes and gets it and comes back with this horrible attitude from no where, that insantly puts me in a bad mood. we pick a movie to watch ( Insidious ) and i swear, you can not watch a movie with this girl.. shes the type that goes like OMG watch this and tells whats gonna happen and ruins the movie, and im just like Shut up! im trying to watch the movie, she keeps doin the same shit ruining the movie for me, so im like fuck this, im just going to text a friend.
During the movie, I start texting this other girl that likes me and i like her too but she has a baby and her and her bf just broke up, she asks if i wanna come over and chill, im like sure after this movie is over ill head over there, its gotta be way funner over there then being here with this crazy bitch.. So the Movie ends, i pretend i gotta go to the bathroom and just leave to go over to her house.
When i get there we gotta put the baby to sleep and while doin that we where watching family guy and american dad on adult swim, the baby finally goes to sleep and we start cuddling, all of a sudden we are kissing and touching and what not, then her mom wakes up and im not suppose to be there so i gotta sneak out. everything was good, i get home and she texts me something like " I need to work things out with my baby daddy" and im like okay i understand and all this, then she texts me saying some shit like " If me and him dont work out, i would be happy with you too!" and this puts me on edge, like i don't wanna be a rebound..
Its about 5 in the morning i finally get ready for bed and i wake up around 3 pm from a text from Ashley ( My best friend ) To keep her fucking name out of her mouth! and how she cant believe i told everyone what happen when i didn't! it was either Lyndzz or Jaclyn and she says i cant believe you did that Dylan after all i have done for you and i have been nothing but nice to you.. and right now i am feeling like total Shit. I'm thinking oh shit i just messed up a really good friendship, and just everyhting i have been going through these whole 3 months with drama and BS im on the verge of suicide, so i get suicidal thoughts, this has never happen before
I'm not gonna lie, i started crying, and started hating myself and wanted to end my life. . . cuz its been nothing but bad for awhile. . . i try to calm my self down by making my signatures, it didnt help, i didnt have any inspiration or anything and i just wanted to throw my computer, so i was like fuck it, imma go onto some forums and youtube and look at some videos. it calmed me down a bit, then i downloaded combat arms. started playing got really bored...
Then i get a text from ashley, its been maybe 8 hours now thats gone by. she says " I dont hate you dylan, i was just upset and all i had to do was calm down" so i get a lil happier. days goin better... this was maybe 3 or 4 hours ago, and after that im like, i can't sleep and i really need something to do, so i download minecraft, and have been playing it for the last 3 or 4 hours.. and i have no accomplished anything...
So really TLR
I'm probably gon be a rebound for this girl i really like
almost killed my self
almost lost my best friend over a stupid mistake
and almost have everyone in this small town hating me, because i made the stupidest mistake ever.
the reason why these last 3 months have been bad, because i got really fucked up one night and fucked this girl, and lyndz somehow found out and has been making my life a living hell, telling everyone, and i live in a really small town and she's got alot of people hating me right now and wanting to kick my ass . . . but yet she is in love with me and wants my dick. but she cant have it, and she tends to over react and is a jealous bitch..
shes the type that i cant talk to other girls or hangout with them or she gets really bad.. and we arn't even dating and never will and she cant stand the fact that i dont like her like that. yeah she has given me Bj's before and then called me a user which maybe i am. idk.
anyways thats how my life has been and i just had to vent about it, let it out somewhere. i really need to make a journal
What you should do:
-Don't get fucked up on a regular basis; only at parties. Dull ones or ones with hot chicks especially.
-Stay in there; if you're always there for the chick, she will eventually notice you.
-Don't even think bout killing yourself; you willonly hurt the people that care about you.
Member Since: 20/02/2011 Donator Since: 12/08/2011 Minion Since: 04/10/2012
Not getting the point it wasn't just over the girl.
its alot of things that have been crashing around me, and i just wanted it all to end..
and just had thoughts running through my mind and i couldnt be able to sleep for nights
Man. Really, I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that shit. Drama can be just so fucked up. Girls can even be more fucked up. I hope things get better for you. Never kill yourself dude. Suicide is for the weak. You're not weak bro. Going through that shit makes you stronger, so live and try to make things better for yourself. Good luck man.