Quit you're fucking crying! I don't believe you've ever "blacked out" or "hurt a lot of people". I've done REAL things that put your fantasy to shame, and I see kids your age doing this shit all the fucking time. You think you're abused or something? Yeeeeeaaah.... "Ohh boo wooo, I'm emotional" for fucks sake... MAYBE if you stopped feeling bad about yourself, and your "situation" you'll realise that being bullied, or attacked in school isn't shit in comparison to someone else, and it probably only happened because you're gay (not saying it's right to beat up gays). Maybe you'll find that it's normal to feel anxiety, depression, and feel as if theres something waiting to be unleashed inside of you, when you're going through body changes along with the social stigma of being a homo.
Kids that cry and complain about their life make me wanna' just smack them as hard upside there head as I can and say, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! When you're 18 GTFOutta your parents house!"