What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
How do you make a plumber cry?
you kill his family
Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.
A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.
Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.
Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub?
A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.
Your mother is so stupid that she was tested and proved to be mentally retarded.
You could also try this on someone.
Go up to your victim and say "I've got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"
Their response "Ok, knock knock"
And you say "Who's there?"
They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues
And last but not least.
Who was the best Jew chef of all time?