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  1. #1
    radnomguywfq3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Good fMyLife quotes

    Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
    Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
    Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
    Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
    Today, I was driving without a license and weed in my car. A cop began to follow me, so I watched my speed very intently. I watched the speedometer so hard that I forgot that I was driving and ran off the road into a ditch. FML
    Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
    Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a fucking idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
    . .


  2. #2
    GOD's Avatar
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    Jul 2008
    I am the God
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    that site is hilarious
    I am the God.

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