Nice try man. Would try get rid of the pauses in between some of the phrases. This'll come with practise but woteva. On some bits, you keep the sustain pedal down for too long. Example is at 0.37. It makes it sound messy. Although the tempo varies on some bits on the original, on your cover, the differences were too great. Think the bass is okay but if you want more, go down to the octave below the one you're using on the bits you can. Finally, get a better better mic.