I wonder if anyone here has actually read / watched 50 Shades.
I downloaded the audio book of it to spam on CS:GO, and skimmed through it to find the sex scenes. Easily the worst-written thing I've ever heard. Shitty vocabulary, constant repetition of words, terrible metaphors / similes, and an overall boring book. Besides the hilariously-awful sex scenes, the book is Snoozeville.