You went overkill on the lighting and the colors. Half the time you could even see what the hell was going on.
To an extent it's okay to use lightings but when you lift everything out it kills the montage. Focus on ligting the natural elements like the sky rather then the entire world itself and don't go overkill on it! You want as much detail as you can put in your montage so it looks appealing to watch.
I know this is a short edit but when you work on the official one have a set storyline for the clips. Each clip should correspond with one map and then smoothly transition over to the next. You don't want to go all over the place with the clips.
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