Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    craig1690's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Behind you
    Posts
    247
    Reputation
    13
    Thanks
    110
    My Mood
    Amazed

    How to survive a shark attack

    How To Survive A Shark Attack

    1: Don't swim in the ocean.*Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

    2: Listen out for the music.*In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect.

    3: Swim with fat people.*Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

    4: Don't go into the water without a knife.*This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely ..... swim for your bloody life.
    And finally .....

    5: Don't panic.*In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.

  2. #2
    KazestemeANI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Wut.
    Posts
    402
    Reputation
    8
    Thanks
    30
    Somehow, I laughed at this.

  3. #3
    craig1690's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Behind you
    Posts
    247
    Reputation
    13
    Thanks
    110
    My Mood
    Amazed
    Quote Originally Posted by KazestemeANI View Post
    Somehow, I laughed at this.
    lol me too

  4. #4
    jennajones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    female
    Location
    Ghosts PillowCase.
    Posts
    1,262
    Reputation
    222
    Thanks
    79
    3: Swim with fat people.*Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

    Will do ;D
    GTFO




  5. #5
    craig1690's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Behind you
    Posts
    247
    Reputation
    13
    Thanks
    110
    My Mood
    Amazed
    Quote Originally Posted by jennajones View Post
    3: Swim with fat people.*Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

    Will do ;D
    lol well just make sure you do i tend too choose people from mcdonalds but hey thats between you and me

Similar Threads

  1. [Tutorial] How to make a sudden attack injector w/ vb 2008
    By Arcruend in forum Sudden Attack General
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-05-2010, 11:30 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-28-2010, 05:59 PM
  3. [Tutorial] How to re-texture Sudden Attack Skins .
    By kyori kusagami in forum Sudden Attack General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-21-2010, 12:28 PM
  4. How to register on sudden attack sea?
    By zshorty123 in forum Sudden Attack General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-05-2009, 08:32 AM
  5. Surviving a Zombie Attack !
    By Dec0r87930 in forum General
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-07-2008, 10:45 PM