Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them.
JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks.
So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.