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  1. #1
    Heartview's Avatar
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    Santa is not real

    Consider the following:

    No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

    This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

    On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

    In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

    Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
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  2. #2
    Zed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heartview View Post
    Consider the following:

    No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

    This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

    On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

    In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

    Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
    I hope this was copied :3

  3. #3
    LuminousArk's Avatar
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    It's not christmas season yet - - but thanks for your explanation. I believe in santa.

  4. #4
    Hero's Avatar
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    Wall of text...
    *takes a brainshit*



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  5. #5
    Heartview's Avatar
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    Its actually worth the read if anyone cares. Learning is good for you.

    And I found this on my computer, and didnt think I should throw it away until I at least shared it. Found a ton of other stuff too I might post around.
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  6. #6
    ResumEe's Avatar
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    too long to read ;O

  7. #7
    Heartview's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ResumEe View Post
    too long to read ;O
    I weep for the future of humanity. Its all of 9 (short) paragraphs. If you cant read that much in less than 2 minutes, you really should consider taking up summer classes at Sylvan learning center.
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  8. #8
    Liz's Avatar
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    LALAALALALALALALALALALALALA





    Santa is real!!!!!!


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  9. #9
    Heartview's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz View Post
    LALAALALALALALALALALALALALA





    Santa is real!!!!!!
    OPEN YOUR EYEEEES OPEN YOUR EEEEYYYYYESSSS.

    THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREEE!
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  10. #10
    Shadeyz346's Avatar
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    , Consider him as a superhero .

  11. #11
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    Fuck you. No. See.. Santa is magic. A special powder found on an extraterrestrial planet called "Hurpderpenstein." Was found near a sighting of Santa on December 27th, 1994. This would leave many of us to believe that Santa is in fact an extraterrestrial being. As are the Reindeer. Perhaps they have a cloaking device developed with such advanced technology such as the sleigh..Being able to fly in mid air by some sort of gravity prepulsion device. It has been scientifically proven that the faster you move, the more time slows down. So. Santas various visits could be explained by the speed of the sleigh and reindeer. Moving so fast that he is in fact traveling through time. Bursting the presents out in an alien like feed. Devouring on the childrens happiness through some sort of emotional digestion system.
    Last edited by Kristina; 05-12-2011 at 12:29 PM.

  12. #12
    Shadeyz346's Avatar
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    I made that magic powder .

  13. #13
    Heartview's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristina View Post
    Fuck you. No. See.. Santa is magic. A special powder found on an extraterrestrial planet called "Hurpderpenstein." Was found near a sighting of Santa on December 27th, 1994. This would leave many of us to believe that Santa is in fact an extraterrestrial being. As are the Reindeer. Perhaps they have a cloaking device developed with such advanced technology such as the sleigh..Being able to fly in mid air by some sort of gravity prepulsion device. It has been scientifically proven that the faster you move, the more time slows down. So. Santas various visits could be explained by the speed of the sleigh and reindeer. Moving so fast that he is in fact traveling through time. Bursting the presents out in an alien like feed. Devouring on the childrens happiness through some sort of emotional digestion system.
    Magic is not real. Argument invalid.
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  14. #14
    Liz's Avatar
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    Actually Santa creates a rip in the space-time continuum and therefore has almost indefinite time to accomplish his tasks.


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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz View Post
    Actually Santa creates a rip in the space-time continuum and therefore has almost indefinite time to accomplish his tasks.
    of course he does! i thought everyone knew

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