I want to join the special forces, its my childhood dream.
But I'm affraid of one thing.. Death. I'm born in a warzone, and the army has always fascinated me, not by the killing, not by the vehicles and technology.. But by the teamwork, loyality, and their causes.
Anger, revenge, my close friends, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my grandparents who have died for no reason.
Will I end up just like them? Getting shot while moving out by a random bullet which just happened to head my direction?
Will my parachute get stuck and get me ripped apart falling from a high distance?
Will I step on a mine.. Will I get droven over.. Will I get stabbed.. Will I get killed for no reason?
Without of me having a chance to give the others a reason to kill me?
My fear for death is not the pain.
My fear for death is not the eternal darkness.
My fear for death is not the afterlife.. My fear.. For death, is being remembered.
What will happen if I die fighting for a huge cause?
What will happen?
Will I be rememorized? Will I get a special day for myself?
Will I be used in scenes and in history books?
Or will I be digged in a hole stuck in there, for eternity?
My fear, is not knowing what will happen after.. Will I rise in the afterlife?
Will I fall deeply into the fire of hell?
Will everything be black.. For ever?
Will I be showing no signs of life, yet alive, ending burried up?