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  1. #1
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    Racist modafawkin jokes

    Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
    A: A pedophile.

    Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
    A: Before the First Period.


    Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
    A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

    Q: What is a redneck virgin?
    A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.


    Q: What do you throw a Mexican man when he's drowning?
    A: His wife and kids.

    Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?
    A: From the mace


    Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?
    A: You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!

    Q: What is the most positive thing in harlem?
    A: HIV


    Q: How do you drown a black preson?
    A: Pop their lips.

    Q: Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style?
    A: They can't stand to see somebody else have a good time.


    Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
    A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

    Q: Who are the two most famous black women?
    A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker.

    Q: What's long, black and smelly?
    A: An unemployment line.


    Q: What do you call a Puerto Rical midget?
    A: A spec.

    Q: What's the difference between a British man and his girlfriend?
    A: His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.


    Q: Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?
    A: Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.

    Q: What did Dodi Al-Fayed say to his driver the morning before the crash?
    A: Do you want to go out with me and Di tonight?


    Q. How do you know if a Chinese person robbs your house?
    A. Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

    Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
    A: A pizza can feed a family of four.


    Q: Why is it so hard for Mexican women to get pregnant?
    A: Because as soon as the sperm enters the cell it tries to hang itself.

    Q: How do you starve a black man?
    A: hide his foodstamps under his workboots.


    Q: What's the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?
    A: Get off of me Dad, you're crushing my cigarettes.

    Q: What do rednecks and KFC have in common?
    A: They do chicken right.


    Q: In Kentucky, what do divorces and tornados have in common.
    A: Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.

    Q: Why do the Scottish wear kilts?
    A: Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.


    Q: What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
    A: Drowns

    Q: Two (insert favorite ethnic group here) jump off the top of a very tall building. Which one his the ground first?
    A: Who gives a fuck?


    Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job?
    A: You know she'll swallow.

    Q: Why did the redneck cross the road?
    A: Because he coundn't get his dick out of the chicken.


    Q: What does a redneck say after sex?
    A: Thanks Mom.

    Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
    A: Quarter pounder with cheese.

    Q: How do you kill 100 Mexicans?
    A: Blow up their van.

    Q: What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool?
    A: Sinko


    Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
    A: A rape victim.

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
    A: They both drip when they're fucked.


    Q: What did the little black boy say when he got diarrhea?
    A: I'm melting!

    Q: Why do black people smell?
    A: So blind people can hate them too.


    Q: What do you call a fat chinese person?
    A: A chunk.

    Q: What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
    A: My bike.


    Q: How are fat bitches and Mo-peds the same?
    A: They are both fun to ride, but you don't tell your friends about them.

    Q: How many house wives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None! what the Fuck they doing out of the kitchen!?


    Q: How do you blindfold a chinese person?
    A: Dental floss.

    Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
    A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!


    Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
    A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.

    Q: Why do black people play basketball?
    A: They can run, shoot, and steal


    Q:What did Adolf Hitler get his neice for her birthday?
    A: An easy bake oven.

    Q:What would the Jetsons be called if they were black?
    A: Niggers.

    Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
    A: On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish.

    Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
    A: Ethiopian


    Q: Why don't Puerto Ricans have check books?
    A: Because it's impossible to sign your name that small with spray paint.

    Q: How do you know when a redneck has her period?
    A: She's only wearing one sock.

    Q: What do you call an ethiopian with buck teeth?
    A: A rake.

    Q: What do you call an ethiopian wearing a turban?
    A: Aq-tip.


    Q: What's this? (pinches skin on both sides of neck)
    A: An ethiopian eating a cornflake.

    Q: Why do they put shit around the church at a packy wedding?
    A: To keep the flies off the bride.


    Q:How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
    A:Throw them a basket ball.

    Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
    A: Full


    Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
    A: Farmers Use'ta Beat Us.

    Q:Whats the difference between a pakie & a bucket of shit?
    A:The bucket.


    Q:What do you call a pakie with a wooden leg?
    A:Shit on a stick.

    Q:What do you call a pakie with two wooden legs?
    A:A waste of wood.


    Q: What do you call an ethiopian jumping off a cliff?
    A: A chocolate drop.

    Q: How do you get 100 jews into a car?
    A: Throw a quarter in it.
    Q: How do you get them out again?
    A: Tell them Hilter is driving.


    Q: What do you call two ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
    A: Twix.

    Q: How do you get 100 ethiopians into a phone box?
    A: Throw a tin of beans in.
    Q: How do you get them out?
    A: Run past with a tin opener.


    Q: Why do arabian women put a red dot on their foreheads?
    A: Helps for better aiming.

    Q: What do you do after you rape a 12 year old deaf dumband blind girl?
    A: Brake her fingers so she cant tell her mom.


    Q: Why doesn't Mexico enter the Olympics?
    A: Because all their best runners, jumpers and swimmers are in America.

    Q: How did the Grand Canyon get there?
    A: Two Jews dropped a quarter down a gopher hole.


    Q: How do you kill a redneck?
    A: Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.

    Q: How do you kill 100 Ethiopians?
    A: Throw a Biscuit off a clif.

    Q: What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?
    A: Throw in a load of dirty laundry.

    Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
    A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.


    Q: How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
    A: Call her on the phone.

    Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
    A:"I feel like a kid again."

    Q: What do you get when cross an Italian with a gorilla?
    A: A retarded gorilla.

    Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
    A: Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

    Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    A: Nothing you already done told her twice.

    Q: Why could Jesus walk on water?
    A: Shit Floats.

    Q: What do you get wne you cross a black man and a mexican.
    A: A person who's too lazy to steal.

    Q: (hold hands out like a crucifiction) What's this?
    A: A really bad way to spend easter

    Q: What was good about the million man march?
    A: Only three people missed work.

    Q: What do you do when your womans watch breaks?
    A: Nothing there's a clock on the stove.

    Q: Why aren't there any puerto ricans on Star Trek?
    A: They won't work in the future either.

    Q: How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?
    A: Flip it upside-down.

    Q: What do you call a blacks in a sleeping bag?
    A: Snickers.
    Q: What do you call two blacks in a sleeping bag?
    A: Twix.
    Q: What do you call a black and a white girl in a sleeping bag?
    A: Rape.

    Q: What's the useless skin around a vagina called?
    A: The woman.

    Q: Why are KFC and a woman the same?
    A: When you're done eating them all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

    Q: How do you keep an indian out of your back yard?
    A: Move the trash cans to the front.

    Q: Why did God give women three more brain cells than cows?
    A: So they don't shit on the floor while doing the dishes.

    Q: Why is tylenol white and not black?
    A: It works.

    Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
    A: Because air is free.

    Q: Why do Black people have sex doggy style?
    A: So they can both watch Soul Train!

    Q: What's a homless woman use for a vibrator?
    A: Two flies in a bottel.

    Q: Why was helen keller such a bad driver?
    A: She was a woman

    Q: How's a packie keep the flies off her food?
    A: Opens her legs.

    Q: What is a nickname for a chinese person?
    A: Sleepwalker.

    Q: How can you tell when an Etiopian is pregnant
    A: Her tampon is half eaten

    Q: Do you wanna hear a joke?
    A: Women's Rights.

    Q: Whats the new definition for mass confusion?
    A: Fathers day in harlem.

    Q: Whats the difference between a black man and a bike?
    A: Your bike doesnt start singing when you put chains on it

    Q: Whats the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

    Q: Why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?
    A: There's no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

    Q: What do you call a Mexican with a sunburn?
    A: A REFRIED BEAN

    Q: What do you call a white Orgy?
    A: A snowball
    Q: What do you call a Black Orgy?
    A: Mud Wrestling
    Q: What do you call a Mexican Orgy?
    A: FAMILY REUNION!

    Q: Did you hear about the Taliban members that they found in Harlem?
    A: They caught Bin Stealin', Bin Rapin' and Bin' Bangin'. However, Bin Workin' is still at large.

    Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
    A: A canoe tips

    Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
    A: They dont fucking listen

    Q: What do you call a black priest?
    A: Holy shit

    Q: What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?
    A: Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.

    Q: How do you circumcise a redneck?
    A: Kick his sister in the chin.

    Q: Whats black and drips down the window?
    A: Coondensation

    Q: What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
    A: An avalance.
    Q: What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill?
    A: A mudslide
    Q: What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
    A: A jailbreak

    Q: Why are black peoples palms white?
    A:Because theres a little bit of good in everyone!

    Im not racist i have a color tv.

    Q: Why does helen keller masturbate with one hand?
    A: So she can moan with the other

    Q: What do Ethiopeians use for deoderant?
    A: Chapstick

    Q: Why are black peoples palms white?
    A: Cuz they were up against the wall when god was spray painting them.

    Q: Did you hear about the chinese couple that had a retarted baby?
    A: Yea, they named it, Sum Ting Wong!!

    Q: What do black people get when they pick thier nose?
    A: Noogers!!

    Q: Have you heard about the new car designed by the Jews?
    A: It stops on a dime and then picks it up

    Q: What do u call 4 mexicans in quicksand?
    A: Cuatro sinco.

    Q: How many irish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 2, one to hold it in place and the other to drink intill the room spins.

    Q: Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico?
    A: 200 Mexicans died.

    Q: What does the human race and jelly beans have in common?
    A: Nobody likes the Black ones.

    Q: How do you know if an italian has been in your back yard?
    A: Your garbage is knocked over and your dog is preagnent.

    Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
    A: A pizza can feed a family of 4

    Q: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: None,they just sit in the dark and bitch

    Q: What is the difference between a Russian and a bag of shit?
    A: Nothing

    Q: Why is the black power sign a clenched fist?
    A: So they dont fall off the trees.

    Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
    A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

    Q: What's the best thing about fucking homeless girls?
    A: When you're done, you can drop 'em off anywhere.

    Q: What did Hitler Give his Daughter for Christmas?
    A: An easy bake oven.

    Q: Why did hitler kill himself?
    A: He got his gas bill.

    Q: What do fags call their balls?
    A: "Mud flaps"

    Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a bowl full of black jelly beans?
    A: You get your watch stolen.

    Q: Whats long and hard on a black man?
    A: The first grade.

    Q: What's the difference between a black man and Batman going to a deli?
    A: Batman can go to a Deli without Robin!

    Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?
    A: She sat on Pinocchio' s face and said "lie to me!"

    Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury dough boy?
    A: Ared headed bitch with a yeast infection.

    Q: What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on?
    A: He broke his nose.

    Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
    A: Dress her up like an altarboy.

    Q: What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand?
    A: A spicket fence.

    Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
    A: A rotten banana.

    Q: Why can't stevie wonder read?
    A: Because he's black.

    Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?
    A: Nine months.

    Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans in a swimming pool?
    A: Bean dip.

    Q: Whats the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne?
    A: Acne doesn't come on a boys face untill after hes thirteen.

    Q: What do you do when your dishwasher doesn't work?
    A: Slap her.
    I am the God.

  2. #2
    Weed Farmer™'s Avatar
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    who'll read..


  3. #3
    clashbanger101's Avatar
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    omg too fucking long....

  4. #4
    GOD's Avatar
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    u guys r niggers
    I am the God.

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