Thread: Hate Printers!

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  1. #1
    -[standoff]-'s Avatar
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    Hate Printers!

    last night i went to a thread called 'hacking coke vending machines' and to my surprise it was simple and easy and VCOOL. so imagine my surprise when, i went to print it. my printer was quite laggy and it was taking ages to turn on. so i hit it. i hit it hard enough to destroy a live wild moose apparently, because the plastic guide rail decided to detach itself and freeball its way through the air into my new couch and tear a stitch. FUCK. so now i must get it repaired! anyway, so my printer makes a weird noise. then it sais, SYSTEM PHYSICAL ERROR! so i think this is because of the guide rail. ooooh no. i go into details tab, and guess what it sed? INK LEAKAGE! BULL FUCKING SHIT . if it can recognise a ink leakage why couldnt they prevent them? anyway, so i fiddle around for a while and then i get it back to worling condition. i do a few test prints of a poicture and im ready. ok so i reopen my document on cke hacking, and THEN!!!!!!! i press print. nothing happens. i press again. right now i have the rage of an OX and the strength of 5. so after AGES f tinkering around, i find out that the problem was the ink cartridge was leaking all over the internals. i remove it, clear out the excess and admire my new blue / pink interior printer. put the cartridge back in, and then press print. ahh, my printer begins to print. it takes a while and to my amazement. IT PRINTS A BLANK SHEET! and further worse, wen i repress PRINT it tells me this- FOLLOWING TANKS ARE EMPTY- CYAN,MAGENTA. why the fuck od i need them. i was printng black text on white BG. wtfwtfwtfwtf.
    so i go into settings and set it to monotone black and white. i try this and no work. so then i press print and it seems to have accepted my monotone print this time. but guess what. it prints it out horizontally. so my page came out sideways! THEN IT WAS OUT OF BLACK INK BUT I COULD CLEARLY SEE SOME IN THE FILTER! in the end, my printer decides to print after i scrape the ink off the edges and into the cartridge right. so my problems are over. nope. my printer is jammed and will now tear anything in 10 pieces when i print it! GOD HELP ME IT NEVER ENDS!
    so i rote it down BY HAND. thats 3 print-pages worht of hand riting. jesus talk about a carpal-tunnel syndrome!!!!!!!!! GODDAM!

  2. #2
    EleMentX's Avatar
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    no1 cares....

  3. #3
    ~Viper~'s Avatar
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    hahahahahhaaaahahhah, its like my brother printer, I DID NOT PRINT A SINGLE PAGE FOR OVER 6 MONTHS, since i use the nec laserjet, BUT I SOMEHOW RUNS OUT OF INK EVERY 2~3 WEEKS, WTF, AND IT STARTS CLEANING ITSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT, AND ONE NIGHT I MURDERED IT, NOW IT LIES IN OUR GRAVEYARD, THE BASEMENT, ALONG WITH ITS BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AND COUSINS, UNCLES, AND AUNTS, AND NEICES, AND NEPWHEWS. AND QUIN123 IN A BODY BAG!

    ps. the brother inks cost 30bucks color each, and there are 4 of em' thats like $240bucks a MONTH, FUCK!!!!!!!, but my dad paid for em'

  4. #4
    poulet28's Avatar
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    My printer kicks ass... anyway if its broken my dad in tha same house has one and my mom too so I can always print something.

  5. #5
    EleMentX's Avatar
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    stfu you all niggers.


    my printer is fine

    OO BEAT THAT SHIT!

  6. #6
    ~Viper~'s Avatar
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    MINE IS TOO, BUT IT TAKES A FUCKING 15sec for the first page, AFTER THAT ITS 35PPM, SO STFUBSSSSSSSS

  7. #7
    EleMentX's Avatar
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    Oooooooo I Still Fucking Own Uy Bitcccccccccccccchaa

  8. #8
    poulet28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EleMentX
    Oooooooo I Still Fucking Own Uy Bitcccccccccccccchaa
    I 0wnz you, I have 3 printers.

  9. #9
    -[standoff]-'s Avatar
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    i own you. i have a broken printer! ONWJORD!

  10. #10
    iverson954360's Avatar
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    lol my printer has been saying almost no black ink for like months now lol and it still prints black

  11. #11
    arunforce's Avatar
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    My printer ink dried up, now I have no ink. >.>
    I don't like my printer anyways, too big. I need small sleek printers, and a flatbed scanner. I'll throw the fucker out. :@

    Ink is a rip-off. 30 bucks, OMGWTFBBQ?! Shit, a fucking new printer is cheaper.

  12. #12
    ace76543's Avatar
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    i dont have aprinter. its hooked up to my dad's computer. which has a password on it

    gay

  13. #13
    -[standoff]-'s Avatar
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    passworded printer????

    wtf hahahahhaah you got owned by a printer!

  14. #14
    iverson954360's Avatar
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    pappa bear wont let him print out porno D:

  15. #15
    -[standoff]-'s Avatar
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    with a name like pappa bear he doesnt need porno by the sounds of it

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