It's a wonder that you can even manage to type in somewhat decent English because most of the Polish population seem to have devolved into people unable to even begin to comprehend the English language, but I guess you don't care because you never smile, you don't have a girlfriend, your hand's your only lover.
Be careful so you don't get it pregnant, because then you'd have to complain about having to switch hands while making love to yourself. Am I there yet? Not even close. But I guess this might not even hit you at all seeing as your mother were likely one of those back alley sluts that did anything for a sip of alcohol.
But I guess that's alright, she moved onto another man, an abusive one - your father, hitting any soft spots yet? Except the softspot on your head that will be popped like a zit once you actually realize how pathetic your life is.
But, hey. There might still be a chance for you yet. You could move onto having a full-time career as a thief, stealing cars. Even though I still doubt that you are above the age of consent, have the motor skills or the intelligence to maneuver a car.
I do still believe that you're just stupid enough to get caught anyway, so enjoy being someones sog-rag in a prison cell.
So, how about you take your one pube, pull it out and shove it up your ass before I pull a Cartman on you.
Grind your parents into chili and feed them to you.