I want to tell you a little story about the circumstances of my best friends death.
He was a troubled child, had tourretts syndrome as well as dyslexia (maybe more than that). He lived in a RV camping park for 5 years, before having to move to the hills in Modesto, then to a group home in the Fresno hills. In the group home he lived with 2 boys, boys his parents never met and he never knew beforehand.
They went out on a hike one day, no more than 2-3 miles from the house and something happened that made my friend turn and head back on the trail alone. After 2 hours when they got home and he wasn't there, they began to search, calling everyone in the area. The police searched all night. 2 days later his body was found. No apparent injuries, and he still had water, but the 115 heatwave still got the best of him. He wasn't more than half of a mile away from the house.
Toxicology report is still pending, and it can change the course of the case very quickly as the first 4 days it was ruled as a homicide when neither of the 2 boys story's matched up. To this day, when asked by his parents the boys still won't give an explanation as to what made him decide to leave. (He was hardheaded though, if he had an idea in his head he was GOING to do it). I met both the boys at his ceremony, neither were that broken up. One was even a bartender for the service, doing shots with friends all evening and laughing and smiling. I can tell you, even though I don't know his group of friends from that area it took a lot not to talk to him just to get myself some closure.
I went and drove up the path to the house while I was away, It was a large property but not so much you would get lost. Especially after living there for almost 6 months. Going through his facebook, I realized without talking to him for over a year me and him at the time were both 7 months clean. Thats fucking brotherhood right there.
His attitude as of late however, is starting to eat at my heart. Was there more going on in his kids head that I knew of? Was it his will that made him give up? Could I have been there more, could I have saved him like he once saved me. Here are a few of his final facebook posts from months earlier:
"I've grown sick of living in this day and age. I have a question I'm sure nobody can answer. How much longer until my 'time' is up?"
"The person I was 5 years ago, is long gone.. That's a sad and hurtful thought to feel and know that I'll never be that same good loving person again."
One of his more recent posts has a completely different attitude. Can't remember it off hand, but I'll post it in a moment