Thread: First Rap

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  1. #1
    Ren103's Avatar
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    First Rap

    "I'm like a ghost at night 'cause I just walked by you.
    Your breath is cold and deep and you're shaking in fear.
    You look around and you're willing me no to.
    You're trying to reach for your gun and you hear:

    "Hey, you fucking little rat. Do you like this game?"
    You mumble. You start to cry. You try to run away.
    Your eyes go red. Your skin goes white. You had your fame.
    You scream. Your heart is beating fast. And you start to pray."

    Please comment or rate it. Or you can help me make it better, 'cause I think it sounds a little crappy.
    Last edited by Ren103; 02-27-2010 at 04:37 PM.

  2. #2
    NextGen1's Avatar
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    Doesn't "Flow" well to me, Just IMO


     


     


     



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  3. #3
    A⁴'s Avatar
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    I want my minion back /fosho.
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    Ur tryin 2 hard.

  4. #4
    /b/oss's Avatar
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    anyway nice

  5. #5
    Ren103's Avatar
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    Lol. Yeah. Needs some improvement.

  6. #6
    ShAg123's Avatar
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    yo nice try man keep up the good work =) i wants that good when i started haahh you stated better then me

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to ShAg123 For This Useful Post:

    Ren103 (03-07-2010)

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