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  1. #1
    AesopRock1227's Avatar
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    Ill put you down like a sick puppy.

    I dont give a fuck like im celibate
    the truth? im telling it
    Ill battle you, but just for the hell-of-it
    Cause your rhymes are wack, in fact
    im unique on the track
    while your ass just wack prolly all hooked up on the crack
    I might be smoking dope but your bitch-ass gonna choke
    im going from luke warm to hot
    best get out my spot
    so dont come testin just cuz you toting smith and wesson
    make sure that shits strapped
    cause nothings stopping me but a well planned attack

    and i dont give a shit like im constipated
    i been patiently waiting to leave you foo's decapitated
    so step up to the mic fearin me
    and get your ass neutered lyrically
    im the king, and im the champ
    You the hoe, you the tramp
    so go back to your bitch-crew
    Snitches roll deep kid
    Just like you.
    Coincidence? Nah not in this instance
    So keep your distance
    or i'll beat you like c.o.'s beat cuffed inmates for "resistance"
    Be shook cuz other kids are worried about the remains
    Im just worried about the bloodstains on my brand-names

    By:



    Thank or respond (rap style) if you like it
    "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
    Voltaire


    Like Jade Dynasty or heard good things about it and thinking about trying it out?

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  2. #2
    Phantazy's Avatar
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    the flow is alil cracky , anyway hate the gangsta big talking lyrics
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  3. #3
    Evelyn's Avatar
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    Yeah, I agree that the flow is a bit choppy. The most generic advice for flow is, the lines have to match up.


    Example -

    ________________
    _________________


    As far as word choice, I absolutely loved it, You don't use simplistic terms, It's excellent. For a general call-out it was overall pretty good since there wasn't a target to use personals on.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Evelyn For This Useful Post:

    AesopRock1227 (10-11-2010)

  5. #4
    ~Gamer~'s Avatar
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    You think your all tough
    but you aint no shit
    ill whip your ass ill kick it
    ill blow you to pieces believe it
    think you can beat me
    cause your full of bullshit
    Ill tear your face up
    rip it to pieces
    All im doing is spitting some shit
    but im gonna pwn your ass believe it


    (I know it aint that good but its my first)

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Gamer~ For This Useful Post:

    AesopRock1227 (10-12-2010)

  7. #5
    AesopRock1227's Avatar
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    If i record it ill repost and you can hear how its supposed to sound

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Gamer~ View Post
    You think your all tough
    but you aint no shit
    ill whip your ass ill kick it
    ill blow you to pieces believe it
    think you can beat me
    cause your full of bullshit
    Ill tear your face up
    rip it to pieces
    All im doing is spitting some shit
    but im gonna pwn your ass believe it


    (I know it aint that good but its my first)
    Now its time for all kids to go back to class
    ill spit so many punchlines
    that youll fall flat on your ass
    have you cryin in no time
    This kid Gamer?
    Yea i hear hes a flamer
    yo but kid thats so ridiculous
    cause im meticulous when ripping this
    ill break your hip, nose, and wrist
    then just fade back in the mist like i dont even exist
    you get it? man your shit was aiight
    but i beat up kids like you on the way to fights...




    LOL nothing personal just had to attack you back to keep it going =P
    Yours was good for 1st try
    Last edited by AesopRock1227; 10-11-2010 at 04:55 PM.
    "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
    Voltaire


    Like Jade Dynasty or heard good things about it and thinking about trying it out?

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  8. #6
    Evelyn's Avatar
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    @~Gamer~ : I love how you kept the same rhyme the entire way down lol. Just keep trying, Rap is something you feel, Don't force it.

    @Aesop : You do recording? If So, You and I need to release a collaborated track. Or a Spoof Battle Track

  9. #7
    AesopRock1227's Avatar
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    Yea i record sometimes. I got a cd i could post possibly, i used to do shows
    "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
    Voltaire


    Like Jade Dynasty or heard good things about it and thinking about trying it out?

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  10. #8
    Evelyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AesopRock1227 View Post
    Yea i record sometimes. I got a cd i could post possibly, i used to do shows
    Yeah I used to do a few shows myself, Never made an Official CD though, That's very nice. Used to do a lot of "Open Mics" And "Cyphers" Though. Add me On MSN If You have it ya?


    Hip.Hop.Poet@hotmail.com

    We Need to do a Song.


    Lol. Aesop Rock- Big Bang, Literally just came on from my playlist.
    Last edited by Evelyn; 10-11-2010 at 05:08 PM.

  11. #9
    Don't be a prick, let me suck your dick.
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    Paranormal's Avatar
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    Looks Pretty Nice Guys. Keep Going.
    Cuties<3

  12. #10
    AesopRock1227's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eqlipse6 View Post
    Yeah I used to do a few shows myself, Never made an Official CD though, That's very nice. Used to do a lot of "Open Mics" And "Cyphers" Though. Add me On MSN If You have it ya?


    Hip.Hop.Poet@hotmail.com

    We Need to do a Song.


    Lol. Aesop Rock- Big Bang, Literally just came on from my playlist.
    Yea fun while it lasted but dont have much of my own equipment since the kid i was rappin with has beef now...

    I got no msn but we can try to figure something out. I cant find my cds anywhere since i moved o.O i hope i can find them since i have no backup


    Aesop Rock - No Regrets, Basic Cable, and Panarama 9b threeway tie for my favorites
    "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
    Voltaire


    Like Jade Dynasty or heard good things about it and thinking about trying it out?

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  13. #11
    Evelyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AesopRock1227 View Post
    Yea fun while it lasted but dont have much of my own equipment since the kid i was rappin with has beef now...

    I got no msn but we can try to figure something out. I cant find my cds anywhere since i moved o.O i hope i can find them since i have no backup


    Aesop Rock - No Regrets, Basic Cable, and Panarama 9b threeway tie for my favorites
    After this comment I think we should take it to PM's But....


    Phone/MSN/Skype/ Whatever


    Also, No regrets is good, I really like "Coffee" xD



    Back to your scheduled battles!

  14. #12
    ShAg123's Avatar
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    ehhh not my style but decent keep trying

  15. #13
    ~Gamer~'s Avatar
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    Not bad, but I ain't givin up just yet

    Quote Originally Posted by AesopRock1227 View Post
    If i record it ill repost and you can hear how its supposed to sound



    Now its time for all kids to go back to class
    ill spit so many punchlines
    that youll fall flat on your ass
    have you cryin in no time
    This kid Gamer?
    Yea i hear hes a flamer
    yo but kid thats so ridiculous
    cause im meticulous when ripping this
    ill break your hip, nose, and wrist
    then just fade back in the mist like i dont even exist
    you get it? man your shit was aiight
    but i beat up kids like you on the way to fights...




    LOL nothing personal just had to attack you back to keep it going =P
    Yours was good for 1st try
    Good, but check out this shit
    dude that's all you got
    I shit a better rap than that
    makin fun of my name
    dude that's just downright lame
    you think you can beat me up
    don't make me rough your ass up
    now I think that's enough
    let's see you rap some stuff


    (yah it's kinda short)
    Last edited by ~Gamer~; 10-11-2010 at 06:43 PM.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Gamer~ For This Useful Post:

    AesopRock1227 (10-12-2010)

  17. #14
    dddrrr's Avatar
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    my rap in another post works perfect for this:
    what do u know, u guys cant rap
    i got a chip on my shoulder im tippin my hat
    posers this is art, it aint for u
    u be trippin on the sidewalk while tryin to tie your shoe
    even though they say opposites attract,
    im so much better, you just cant react.
    you got your lols, ur g.t.gs
    but right now this rapoff is history.
    I blew u away, buts thats the only blowin I do,
    to bad I just wish it was the same for you

  18. #15
    ~Gamer~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dddrrr View Post
    my rap in another post works perfect for this:
    what do u know, u guys cant rap
    i got a chip on my shoulder im tippin my hat
    posers this is art, it aint for u
    u be trippin on the sidewalk while tryin to tie your shoe
    even though they say opposites attract,
    im so much better, you just cant react.
    you got your lols, ur g.t.gs
    but right now this rapoff is history.
    I blew u away, buts thats the only blowin I do,
    to bad I just wish it was the same for you
    you ain't in this
    dont join in thinking your the shit
    you should be scared
    you say you dont blow, dont be lying
    I saw u sucking daves cock this morning
    I think you should run away while you can
    cause gamers gonna kill this bitch

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Gamer~ For This Useful Post:

    AesopRock1227 (10-12-2010)

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