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  1. #1
    kublkun's Avatar
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    School creative writting poerty (tell me what you think)

    This is just some poetry that I have to present for creative writing. Just want to know what you guy think (these go in order btw)

    It's hard to write when you feel nothing
    the things I write are supposed to mean something
    only my grade is whats at stake
    but writting this is like a slap in the face


    stupid people make me sick
    no common sense or their head is thick
    they only think about their lives
    they don't feel the pain when they critisize
    or when their family severs ties
    or how they always have to lie
    how we always wonder why
    who will care when they will die
    no tears will drop, no one will cry
    they will only see the passer byes
    even they will only sigh



    so far so bad
    the time i waste is making me mad
    My eye lids drop so heavily
    I don't want this to be stereotypically
    any thing you've heard before
    The sappy shit that I abhor
    So I am going to go rest my head
    So I will lose this feeling of being dead


    I think I need to write some more because the video needs to be like 2 minutes with pictures, but yeah.
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  2. #2
    Balls Out's Avatar
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    Ehh, alright. Try using alternate rhyme schemes such as "A,B,A,B,C,A,C,A" and so on. Also, its best if you use rhyming words with more than 2 syllables. Are you going to rap this?
    Knowledge is not power, rather applied knowledge is power.



    Who Is John Gault?

  3. #3
    kublkun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Balls Out View Post
    Ehh, alright. Try using alternate rhyme schemes such as "A,B,A,B,C,A,C,A" and so on. Also, its best if you use rhyming words with more than 2 syllables. Are you going to rap this?

    Lawl, no I'm not rapping this, I just happen to rap it in my head when I write poetry usually. We have to make a video with pictures/smaller videos with poetry we created in there, along with adding music to it.
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  4. #4
    Balls Out's Avatar
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    Ok, I was jwing.
    Knowledge is not power, rather applied knowledge is power.



    Who Is John Gault?

  5. #5
    H3ARTbreaker's Avatar
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    i see what you're doing brother
    try not to like improvise just for the rhyme tho. like "passer byes"
    wait for the right word