Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    J Miliam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    male
    Posts
    8,287
    Reputation
    392
    Thanks
    432
    My Mood
    Tired

    What you think of some of my lyrics?

    1. Girl you look rediculous, rediculously fine.
    I'm hopin after time you could really be mine.
    Your beauty is a mystery, I'm honestly amazed.
    Am I imagining, like I was smokin on some haze?
    Your looks just aren't a phase,
    I love how you were raised.
    Proper like a real girl, no complication, maze.

    2. Girl I'm down for some conversation.
    Just talking to you is like my first vacation.
    Before you're in my life there's an initation.
    Oh wait, you're past that, well congratulations.
    And I'm down for your love,
    You're body is my pipe and I need that sex drug.
    It all came down to this, ever since that first hug.
    Girl is it just me or are we both in love?

    3. Thinking of you,
    Going out of my mind.
    Looking at the clock,
    Its half past five,
    Look back again,
    It's quarter past six.
    If there was a way,
    I'd try to fix,
    This constant struggle.
    In and out of lies,
    The worse it gets,
    The less I try.
    It's not getting any better,
    It's just getting worse.
    If I could,
    I would relive my first.
    It felt so perfect,
    above all the rest.
    Until that fatal flaw came,
    And made a mess.
    Thinkin about you,
    Goin out of my mind.
    Lookin at the clock,
    And it's half past nine.

    4. I like those girls that get outta bed and already beautiful.
    Don't need no makeup on, work hard, stay dutiful.
    I like those girls that keep 100 and don't lie.
    Don't even gotta say it at all, they stay fly.
    Never back down for shit, my first pick.
    1st string broads, stay faithful, never slick.

    5. I'm so sorry for falling for you so hard,
    I'm sorry for pressuring you to be my only broad.
    I'm sorry for keeping us from always fightin'
    I'm done, and my thoughts are all I'm writin...

    6. Everytime we pass,
    Our eyes meet.
    Everytime I'm with you,
    The times sweet.
    It seems like everything about you,
    Everytime I think about you,
    Just makes me feel like I'm finally complete.
    I really can't explain it,
    as for my love,
    You just can't tame it.
    It's just love burn, the scorching fiery heat.

    Which one is your favorite?

  2. #2
    Bombsaway707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Gym
    Posts
    8,817
    Reputation
    791
    Thanks
    3,947
    My Mood
    Amused
    Try to keep the syllables in the same range like 8-10
    not like 10, 6, 14
    Makes the rap go smoother but overall they look good, they rhyme so ur already ahead of half the people lol

  3. #3
    J Miliam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    male
    Posts
    8,287
    Reputation
    392
    Thanks
    432
    My Mood
    Tired
    It's hard to find someones flow off of text, I think. When I write, more of type on my blackberry, I rap it in my head and I'm pretty picky when it comes to lyrics so the words and the flow have to work together. It's better with audio.

  4. #4
    ShAg123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    male
    Location
    VA homie
    Posts
    690
    Reputation
    -21
    Thanks
    32
    My Mood
    Amazed
    ehhh it was ok i wanna hear you ova a mic then bro but peace gotta go do my diss haha

  5. #5
    J Miliam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    male
    Posts
    8,287
    Reputation
    392
    Thanks
    432
    My Mood
    Tired
    Quote Originally Posted by ShAg123 View Post
    ehhh it was ok i wanna hear you ova a mic then bro but peace gotta go do my diss haha
    These weren't serious verses, I hope you know, these were more of casual. I can go in when i need to.

  6. #6
    Karma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    male
    Location
    In a box
    Posts
    1,702
    Reputation
    20
    Thanks
    101
    My Mood
    Amused
    -l-o-v-e- it ! ure kinda cool'sxD

    im putting numbah 3 in my sig !