Thread: Am I good?

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  1. #1
    GiftedPotato's Avatar
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    Am I good?

    Well hello there name is GiftedPotato I got some beat and I got some flow. I spit some at day some at night. words come out gives people chills and fright. cause they know that im right round the corner. ready to bust your brain make ur sight blurred. Be sure not to mess with me cause Ima pop some toxic in ur drink while u aint lookin. Watch u beg for mercy as u constipatin. Be the new kid on the block while u down suckin cock.

    My first time spitting rap. I know it prolly sucks. any suggestions to make me better?

  2. #2
    Nitehawk772's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiftedPotato View Post
    Well hello there name is GiftedPotato I got some beat and I got some flow. I spit some at day some at night. words come out gives people chills and fright. cause they know that im right round the corner. ready to bust your brain make ur sight blurred. Be sure not to mess with me cause Ima pop some toxic in ur drink while u aint lookin. Watch u beg for mercy as u constipatin. Be the new kid on the block while u down suckin cock.

    My first time spitting rap. I know it prolly sucks. any suggestions to make me better?
    It's... Not TO bad... A few suggestions, Make it longer and make it continue to rhyme like, "Nigga watch me spit, Interrupt me you get hit, Yeah bitch, You best sit, You may as well quit." And just keep going with it as long as you can until you can't think of anymore words that rhyme or until it gets to the point where you think you should stop and move on to rhyming another word.

  3. #3
    TheGiftedPotato's Avatar
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    My name is giftedpotato, I like eating jello, wanna mess with me no-no, im the best there is yo.

    The most badass shit I could come up with

  4. #4
    spysideways's Avatar
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    Just 6th sentence doesnt fit right.

  5. #5
    Einstein2.0's Avatar
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    Its called "multies" when you rhyme back to back in 1 bar (2 lines).
    Multies are great if you execute properly. Like the "i like eating jello" is kinda worthless unless you metaphor it for something in the following line. It seems like you just put it there cuz you couldn't think of something else. It is out of place.

    "my name is giftedpotato with a flow that will blow the show, ya know, I be doin it big, im a giant, rhymes dunkin harder then kobe bryant, I'm a tyrant , as I beat my enemies with ease, leave them shakin like jello when they get served by this fellow."

    Just an example of what you can do with multies and metaphors. Good start though
    Last edited by Einstein2.0; 08-03-2011 at 01:57 PM.

  6. #6
    GiftedPotato's Avatar
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    Einstein check my other one

  7. #7
    Einstein2.0's Avatar
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    Ya I read that one too. Its good but kinda lacked flow to it. You spit a whole bar without rhyming. overall not too bad.

  8. #8
    ShAg123's Avatar
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    Hahahahahh that shit ain't multis by any thing kid n giftedpotato I like it nice for begging keeep trying you will get better with practice

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