Thread: Dreaming of you

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  1. #1
    Liz's Avatar
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    Post Dreaming of you

    The night sky stretches above me, the colors forming its own blend.
    Moonlight caresses my cheek, the stars seeming to never end.
    The breeze blows softly, bringing magic to this place.
    As I lay my head, I hope to see nothing but your face.
    Your hand so strongly holding mine, never to let go it seems.
    Your love so strong I feel it in every fiber, but only in my dreams.
    How I remember those sweet short moments, the dream I spent with you.
    Alas, Morning rises, time is up, we must part. Adieu.
    A few hours, seem like just seconds, to me, much too few
    At least I know you will haunt my daydreams too..


    Last edited by Liz; 04-13-2012 at 12:04 AM.


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    GoldenEagle (08-29-2012),nali123321 (04-13-2012)

  3. #2
    nali123321's Avatar
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    Nice I liked this alot

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    [MPGH]Liz (04-13-2012)

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    Thank you.


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    Very nice, took me a while to understand though [ I'm not that smart =_+ ] .

  7. #5
    Royce's Avatar
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    Liz , I didn't know you did poetry

    Your pretty good at it, Is it ok if I show this to my teacher?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illuminarly View Post
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  8. #6
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    That is all.


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    Its pretty interesting.

  11. #8
    Royce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz View Post




    That is all.
    But it is really good, I think she would like it .
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    "well ain't dat sum shit. Sucks for you, but you did well professionally, and nobody can ever say you would be shit at any future positions. But you just gotta know when to not fuck up, or just go the silent mod route like tommi, or ravallo, or nico." - Doc

    Quote Originally Posted by Illuminarly View Post
    Did you refresh the thread and see my comment? No way you replied that quickly


  12. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Royce da 5'9" View Post
    Liz , I didn't know you did poetry

    Your pretty good at it, Is it ok if I show this to my teacher?
    Did you, or did you not notice that this section (both literally and figuratively) belongs to Liz?
    Also, I think she wouldn't mind you would show it to your teacher as in 'look what I found on the internet!', just don't claim it's your work

    OT:
    What a 'powerful' poem (unsure if that's correct English, hope you get what I mean)
    Quite a shame that there are so few people showing interest though


     

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  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ravallo View Post


    Did you, or did you not notice that this section (both literally and figuratively) belongs to Liz?
    Also, I think she wouldn't mind you would show it to your teacher as in 'look what I found on the internet!', just don't claim it's your work

    OT:
    What a 'powerful' poem (unsure if that's correct English, hope you get what I mean)
    Quite a shame that there are so few people showing interest though
    I wouldn't claim it and I wouldn't say it like that, I would say It someone I know who doesn't live in miami anymore .
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    "well ain't dat sum shit. Sucks for you, but you did well professionally, and nobody can ever say you would be shit at any future positions. But you just gotta know when to not fuck up, or just go the silent mod route like tommi, or ravallo, or nico." - Doc

    Quote Originally Posted by Illuminarly View Post
    Did you refresh the thread and see my comment? No way you replied that quickly


  14. #11
    Liz's Avatar
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    What i write is for me, and those I choose to share it with. Not for other people to try and spread it for me. So no. /Done. Stay OT or get banned.


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  15. #12
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    Fantastic work, paints an effectively vivid picture with each stanza, the first segment starts by showing you what the setting is going to be like, while not using any filler to throw in before getting right down to the main idea behind the poem in the first place, with an offset beat with each line, making it more mysterious, yet obviously visible. I'd love to see more of your work, this isn't mediocre pointless rap like what the majority posts, and I like it. Thought through quite well.

  16. #13
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    This is really sad.... But I know the feeling.

    Secondly, the fuck kind of garbled bullshit was that on the post above me? Holy shit

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  17. #14
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    Very well written. Nice job @Liz (: I love the concept of dreams.

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