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  1. #1
    kublkun's Avatar
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    It looks like it's time... [Cn'C]

    First bars of a song I'm written, let me know what you think so far, and ~ means I take a breath

    Instrumental I used, start after the first drop, after the 20 second mark


    It's looks like it's time
    to drop another rhyme
    about these bitches that got busted faces
    but their ass is fine
    Bitches crazy
    I'm losing my damn mind
    Most women are like pennies on the ground
    but this chick is a dime
    It should be a crime
    the way I use my smooth moves
    To chose which pussy I want to abuse
    cause it's win or lose
    drink brews, booze
    Doin what I came to do
    forced to work at something that I never wanted to
    It's getting crazy
    ~
    living life like this
    no pot to piss,
    but I got bra straps poppin like the rice crisp
    Last edited by kublkun; 03-26-2013 at 12:42 AM.
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  2. #2
    Aborted's Avatar
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    Damn nice. My only problem is that the lines have some strange length differences. This can can cause some flow problems when you're actually spitting. I see a 2,1,3,1,3,1,3,1
    When the earth is changed into a humid dungeon,
    In which Hope like a bat
    Goes beating the walls with her timid wings
    And knocking her head against the rotten ceiling;
    When the rain stretching out its endless train
    Imitates the bars of a vast prison
    And a silent horde of loathsome spiders
    Comes to spin their webs in the depths of our brains,
    All at once the bells leap with rage
    And hurl a frightful roar at heaven,
    Even as wandering spirits with no country
    Burst into a stubborn, whimpering cry.
    — And without drums or music, long hearses
    Pass by slowly in my soul; Hope, vanquished,
    Weeps, and atrocious, despotic Anguish
    On my bowed skull plants her black flag.

  3. #3
    kublkun's Avatar
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    How do you mean? I'm just a little confused lol
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  4. #4
    EatADick's Avatar
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    Why do you guys post your rhymes online in text when you could just get a mic and record them?

    You're just offering them off for anyone too steal and use for themselves.

  5. #5
    kublkun's Avatar
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    Who's going to steal my rhymes though? and if they do, there's a posting date onhere.
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