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  1. #1
    UnitedMassacre's Avatar
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    The Wack-ness-ish-age

    - Another test of mine. It apparently needs a bit of work but why would i post a finished product on a forum for everybody to steal o.0 constructive criticism welcome!
    Instead of me just creating new thread after new thread.. i will just keep posting my stuff right here so i do not make a mess in the thread lobby. if anybody thinks this is a bad idea please let me know why.

    Idea - i like the song fort minor - right now.
    the idea of the flow just flows.
    hard to do... so here is my shot at it. If you have
    never hurd of the song before maybe if you listened to the beat it would help you get into it idk.


    Okay right now, somebody is looking pretty beat,
    he can hear his little brothers heartbeat
    knowing hes been overseas fighting for weeks.
    but right now, hes gotta go survive these streets.
    hopefully tonight he can find something to eat
    and a safe place to set his feet.

    right now down the street,
    among the angry words and slured speech,
    there is a little left to hurt as this man preaches to the weak,
    trying to give comfort threw a neat little beat.
    given back to the street.

    right now, theres somebody that is sitting on a beach,
    watching the sun set and basking in the heat.
    why would this person care about the streets.
    she sees a bum under the dock resting his feet.
    according to her taste, he is a disgrace to the modern race.
    needs a shower,to brush is teeth and stay out of her face.


    right now, i am pouring another drink, pondering will,
    the brother of the streets and the bitch on the beach
    will ever meet,maybe even speak?
    i'm done with her she is pretty weak


    cause right now, theres someone droping 100gs for a beat,
    and they don't have half this drive, but im stuck to the street.
    they have been to the peak, and i am still trying to get out this heat.

    right now i should stop myself,
    last time i was like this i isolated myself,
    hoping i could just blast myself,
    please god i need mental help.
    or a book on self help...
    so maybe i can help my fucked up self.


    but right now my father is praying for better physical health,
    he taken a mass of drugs thinking it will help him feel better about his self.

    i noticed he hasn't drank much lately..
    then i noticed his skin was all cold and pastey.

    so right now my dreams have faded away greatly,
    i say i love you,but i say it so fakely. <- is fakely a word >.>?
    my sister says be a man. i say make me.

    right now, i feel pretty heartless,
    my world has faded into darkness,
    im just hopen the spark is derived from the depths of the dark.
    the one that gets me up and forces a freash start.
    so i can say deep down my heart is the product of the dark spark.

    right now, im alone staring out my window into the park
    wondering if that family i see will be torn apart,
    by a silent suicide that boy could have set in mind.
    cause mommy is on drugs and daddy dose not have time.
    to listen to his little bitch boy whine
    so he kicks back with a bit of rhythm and rhyme.
    ploting the escape from his day to day life.


    i have just noticed. its hard for me to switch topic. or run into a
    different phase of rhyme. once i start its hard to pull off a transfer into a whole different topic.. strange.
    Last edited by UnitedMassacre; 08-05-2009 at 11:46 PM.

  2. #2
    UnitedMassacre's Avatar
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    o god i hate that... it must be a thing with mpgh after a few days your post gets locked and you can not edit it or something... i wanted to change older and younger around and alter it a little :S

    i can see where that would be a good idea, idea i guess but now i know i screwed my words up and it will never change! NOOOO. lol idc... i know how the story really goes anyway i guess it sounds okay.
    Last edited by UnitedMassacre; 08-06-2009 at 11:28 AM.

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