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  1. #1
    Aborted's Avatar
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    Starting a Lengthy Narrative

    Got some inspiration, so I jotted down a few lines to a Narrative Poem I'm starting:

    Walking through the darkened wood,
    Ahead my cabin, there it stood.
    As I tread upon the blackened ground,
    My hearing reaps a wretched sound.
    A hellish scream to pierce the depths,
    Halts my feet and stops my breath.
    My vision blurs, I lose my sight,
    I try to see with all my might.
    My knees grow weak, my legs collapse,
    Now in my ear a tortured rasp:
    “From whence the realm devoid of light,
    From whence the realm where day is night,
    From whence the realm where demons roam,
    I come to nest, your mind my home”
    Into my head the words now seep,
    My body fails, I drift to sleep.
    I am the seer in the dark,
    the vagabond of yore,
    valediction.
    I am the sum of all your parts,
    and proprietor of all.
    A miasma,
    the conclusion,
    blackmonger of Inlé,
    valediction.
    Synapses fray,
    my form now vivid,
    as torpor sets and blood grows tepid.
    With every ounce of flesh now offered,
    I hold your corpse within my coffers.
    Knitted cells now split asunder,
    stand alongside me brother.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Aborted For This Useful Post:

    Josh (12-04-2013)

  3. #2
    PathogenV2's Avatar
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    The woods are dark,
    the ass was deep.
    Deep truck pours sheep.
    The sheep are toasters.
    I am trucking chicken.

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    [DIN]Blake[DU] (11-24-2013)

  5. #3
    ヽಠ_ಠᕤ Headrockin' ᕦಠ_ಠ╯
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    IV2B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PathogenV2 View Post
    The woods are dark,
    the ass was deep.
    Deep truck pours sheep.
    The sheep are toasters.
    I am trucking chicken.
    Touching.

  6. #4
    pathogen_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IV2B View Post
    Touching.
    Thank you, I was making art.

  7. #5
    Mokou-Sama's Avatar
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    Interesting poem OP had there. Although is it correct? Grammatically speaking. Since I'm not a native speaker, I had some time thinking about this.
    Formerly known as gamer4evere



     
    Participated on:
    MPGH GAMING NIGHT 08/03/2015 - Town of Salem



  8. #6
    Aborted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gamer4evere View Post
    Interesting poem OP had there. Although is it correct? Grammatically speaking. Since I'm not a native speaker, I had some time thinking about this.
    In accordance with standard conversational grammar, no. Though almost all poetry, lyricry, and the like disregard clauses and word phrasing, as the words aren't meant for conversing nor making a clear point. I simply choose to write my poetry in short descriptory phrases over longer, more coherent passages, which would be used for prose.
    I am the seer in the dark,
    the vagabond of yore,
    valediction.
    I am the sum of all your parts,
    and proprietor of all.
    A miasma,
    the conclusion,
    blackmonger of Inlé,
    valediction.
    Synapses fray,
    my form now vivid,
    as torpor sets and blood grows tepid.
    With every ounce of flesh now offered,
    I hold your corpse within my coffers.
    Knitted cells now split asunder,
    stand alongside me brother.

  9. #7
    pathogen_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aborted View Post

    In accordance with standard conversational grammar, no. Though almost all poetry, lyricry, and the like disregard clauses and word phrasing, as the words aren't meant for conversing nor making a clear point. I simply choose to write my poetry in short descriptory phrases over longer, more coherent passages, which would be used for prose.

    I enjoy your intelligence.

  10. #8
    Mokou-Sama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aborted View Post

    In accordance with standard conversational grammar, no. Though almost all poetry, lyricry, and the like disregard clauses and word phrasing, as the words aren't meant for conversing nor making a clear point. I simply choose to write my poetry in short descriptory phrases over longer, more coherent passages, which would be used for prose.
    I see your point. Now everything is explained.
    Quote Originally Posted by pathogen_ View Post
    I enjoy your intelligence.
    Stop mocking other users. No wonder no one likes you.
    Formerly known as gamer4evere



     
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    MPGH GAMING NIGHT 08/03/2015 - Town of Salem



  11. #9
    -WhiteNoise's Avatar
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    Veni Vidi Vici.

  12. #10
    HeroicXPharaoh's Avatar
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    Great poetry, 5/5
    Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken.


     
    If'd you like to donate to support me, shoot me a PM
     
     
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    Official Middleman January 15, 2015>May 20, 2015
    Marketplace Minion May 20, 2015>September 24, 2015
    Marketplace Moderator September 24, 2015>October 17, 2015
    Former Staff October 17, 2015>May 10, 2017
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