Adolf Introduction - The introduction of a cheater.

[Adolf Hit Her]

I wanna introduce myself by telling a true story about my life.

On the November month of 1997 a scandinavian child was born, and his name was

 

JOHN CEEEEEEENA

The times were tough, the economy was shit (no wonder why, fucking George Bush ruined the world economy). My father died, the doctors used the medical term "doritos overdose" to describe his sudden death , i don't remember it all, i was only 6. It was clearly a very dank period in my life.

At this point i thought the worst part was over... and ohhh boy i was wrong. The following years was nothing but true MLG. I got bullied by the other kids because of my neckbeard,i was the only 4chan user, all the other kids prefered 9fag.

My mother tried to make us a living, she just got fired and we were disadvantaged. So my mother did what every desperate girl out there did, yes, she became a twitch streamer. The money was rolling, at this point i was 8 - 9, i don't remember clearly.

Now the money was rolling, and for my birthday my mother got me a new computer, with a game called "counter strike: source". It was beautiful and to be honest, i shat a tear. My first word to her were "time to p0wn some scr0bs lord".

And thus i became xXxUltraKillahxXx, but my mother knew me as Kevin.

So i joined a server, and i got instantly neutralized, this led to multiple anger outbreaks, and numberous mental breakdowns. At this point i was still a young padowan, still had a tough time in school, and still got rekt in css.

This was until i found a website named LonelyCocks aka Myg0t. This was it, this were the place were i felt home, i made numerous friends and overall had a great time.

This was here i was introduced to the fedora, steam key generator and l33t ch3ats.
But...

This was NOT free, so i stayed up after bedtime, went into my mother's pucket, took her credit card, and whispered "forgive me mama". I went buying, a fedora, pink like the foreskin on my underdeveloped manhood. I tried to download a free cheat to save some money, and ohhh boy, it was straight outta malware. I'm glad my trustworhy and fully functional Norton anti-virus catched it just in time. After youtube searching "FREE COUNTER STRIKE CHEAT" for stressful 5 minutes, i went to conclusion; MOTHERS.CREDIT.CARD!

I went over to [CENSORED] and bought their l33t h4ck, now with my new skill it was time to get a new username. I was now known as Omniscient. 0wning n00bs was funny for a while, until that faithful day in 2011. I remember listening to "Sexy and I Know It" to boost my self-esteem, and Niggas in Paris... (Turns out there was more than niggas in Paris)

But back to the story, it was just an ordinary day, i just came home from anger-management class, i opened my computer, and logged into my steam account, just to see a message written in purest form of red. I remember the words clearly, as if I just google searched to write this post. "1 VAC ban(s) on record", words that later would change my life.

To be continued...

[lockedalt]

Great introduction John, Welcome to mpgh! (P.S I have the most glorious neckbeard of all)

[Adrenaline]

Welcome, Have Fun!