Cancerous shitposting | Part 1 - The General

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

First of all I'd like to thank "moza.exe" an IG meme page for giving me an inspiration on this and because I most likely stole the name from them.

During a hot Sunday, I was laying on bed thinking about what to do next to kill off this tremendous laziness that's been occurring to me lately. Yes. I cannot seem to be productive at all during summers. I don't know why. Maybe it's part of me, something that I don't like at all, I'd say I hate it, but it's who I am so I gotta accept it somehow and make the most out of it. Every time I start working on something I always lose my motivation to continue, why? Do I lose interest in the specific topic? Yes I do. But why? Well, I usually find something that attracts me more and makes me lose my previous focus on what I was working on.
Anywho, as I was saying... laying on me bed trying to find something to do, when suddenly something appears in front of me. Something I might as well describe in just one word: greatness. Pure greatness. A very strong light emitting around him couldn't allow me to see his face. He was like a shadow surrounded by a mighty flash light. I was completely frozen. How could this be? Am I asleep? What is happening to me right now? As he was approaching towards me I could smell some kind of sweetness coming from him. He raises his hand towards me as he keeps coming at me. The smell intensifies as he gets closer...he came not much more than 1 meter in front of me and the mighty flash light that used to surround him started to disappear. I now could see what he was holding...
- Oh my...Is..Is that...
- Cake. Yes it is my friend.
- Dave is that you?
He pulled his hand back and started to eat the piece of cake that I thought he was offering me.
- But if you didn't come here to share your piece of cake with me what are you doing here then?
- I came here as soon as I started to hear that you were having one of those "lazy moments" of yours. - he spoke to me with a deep and profound voice, I think he really cares to help me out - I know what you should do my friend.
- What?
- Come with me, I'll take you there.
- There? Where is there?
I couldn't even finish what I was saying, he quickly grabbed my hand and in a second I found myself floating on air as, he.. we, were reaching my window.
- Dave where are you taking me?
- You'll know my friend.
It felt amazingly bad. I had no idea where I was headed, but the picturesque panorama in front of me made me not to care that much about my destination. I always thought that the journey is what really matters. I was about to be proven wrong once more....

-----

It's been almost half an hour now, we were flying across clouds, and suddenly there it was... the place my friend Dave was talking about.
I found myself looking in front of a giant golden gate. There was this text, "General". But oh my, what could this be? Where am I? As we were walking on clouds, reaching towards the gate, a little lady with unmatched beauty approached us. I cannot really find the right words to describe her, I'd better use Alex Turner's lyrics: she was like made of outer-space, like an exploration, her lips were like the galaxy's edge and a kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place.
- Dave where have you taken me?!
- Welcome Elio. - gently said the little lady. - My name is Liz.
- How..How do you know my name?
- Oh I know everything my friend, I also know why you're here. Come follow me into The General.
How could I resist? Her beauty was almost divine. I blindly followed her. It was a palace on clouds, how bad could it be? But really, her beauty had me blind. She took me here.
- What is this Liz? Why's everybody flaming on that dude for saying he had his Birthday?
Liz smiled and didn't say a word. It felt like @supermanjetRETURN's was like one of those bad guys in Batman movies who nobody likes for no apparent reason. Some of them didn't believe it was his birthday. Why? Why doubt something like that? A guy named @Arrow even wished him a "not happy birthday" and then called him a "stupid CS".
- Liz what's a CS?
- Cocksucker. - she almost whispered in my ear.
- Why are you whispering, Liz?
- They can hear us.
- Who are they?
- The kids.
Those "kids" that Liz was talking about seemed to be everywhere. In every corner of the palace, I was afraid but still curious to learn more about this mysterious place. Next thing Liz said to me is that she was taking me to see the grand master. I couldn't wait to meet him, I had so many questions, so many things that were blurring my mind. I had to know more.


End. Part 2 coming soon...

[Solvi]

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

If you think MPGH users are going to read that block of text, you're wrong.

Oh yeah I write this for the luls of it

[%&Ursgart23__faf]

If you think MPGH users are going to read that block of text, you're wrong.

[isosplz]

@Snoopy I love that story.
@♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Thank you for the post. Waiting to read part 2!!! Never thought that I would find a share like that on MPGH.

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

@Snoopy I love that story.
@♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Thank you for the post. Waiting to read part 2!!! Never thought that I would find a share like that on MPGH.

Much love guys

[L$D.]

Aint nobody got time fo dat.

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

Aint nobody got time fo dat.

That is a perl.

[Default]

tl;dr
are u begging us for a cs tag?

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

tl;dr
are u begging us for a cs tag?

Please give me more material for the next part

[Default]

tl;dr
are u begging us for a cs tag?

Please give me more material for the next part

@arunforce ..

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

@arunforce ..

Why are you mentioning arun lol ?

[x12]

Why are you mentioning arun lol ?

so you get the cs you deserve

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

so you get the cs you deserve

Oh ok, but why do I deserve it?

- - - Updated - - -

Waiting it! Nice read for the end of the day

Thanks

[Vader]

End. Part 2 coming soon...

Waiting it! Nice read for the end of the day