Dave Physics - 101

[Yemiez]

Welcome to Dave Physics 101, I'm professor Oskar, and welcome to the first lesson of Dave Physics.

The laws of Dave Physics.
Over the years, one thing mpgh scientists have discovered is that the nature of a Dave is generally more complex than we give it credit for. The following laws of Dave physics are considered fundamental, but many of them refer to idealized, closed systems, which are hard to obtain in the real world. Also, some are altered slightly in different circumstances. The laws that Lance the third developed, for example, are modified by the findings of the theory of fattitivity, but they are still basically valid in most regular cases that you'll run into.

Lance the third's law of motion
Sir Lance the third developed the Three Laws of Dave Motion, which descrive basic rules about how the motion of Daves change. Lance the third was able to define the fundamental relationship between the acceleration of a Dave and the total forces acting upon it.

Law of gravity
Lance the third developed his Law of Dave Gravity to explain the attractive force between a Dave and Cakes. However in the year of 2014, it became clear that this is not the whole story, as Yamiez the first's theory of general fattitivity has provided a more comprehensive explanation for the phenomenon of Dave gravity.

Formulas
The formula of death
This formula is used to caluclate the amount of people a Dave can kill with mass alone.

DK/min = M * ((10^3)^-2) * T

Where M is the mass of said Dave in kg, and T is the time in minutes.
Example:
Dave84311 weighs 10^6kg, how many people can he kill per hour?
Answer:

10^6 * 10^3^-2 * 60 = 60.

Dave84311 can kill 60 people per hour.

The formula of speed
This formula is used to calculate the velocity a Dave can move at, unfortunately the fifth law of Lance the third overrules this formula at all times, it is impossible for a Dave to move at any velocity greater than 0km/h. However this formula was thought to be able to calculate at what velocity a Dave can travel at first, it is no longer correct.

km/h = 10^4 * ((M * 0.38)^-π)

Where M is the mass of said Dave in kg, and π is pi. (3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971.... that's as many as I know in my head )



Thanks to Professor Lance (@Hero) for conducting the more modern research of Dave Physics, more lessons will be held in the future!

ps please dont ban me @Dave84311

[Ace]

This4Sticky


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Dave * Dave + 2 Dave - 1 / 3 Dave = MPGH

[[MPGH]Ahl]

I never knew this!!!

Gonna have to use it in my upcoming Physics exam. Using Dave's knowledge, I should get 100% right?

[Luverdark]

Real talk, how long did this take? Wow.

[Hentai]

You really did take your time to make this thread.

[Eternity]

Shit dave fat as fuck.

[Arlo]

fucking shitposts

[Ace]

I never knew this!!!

Gonna have to use it in my upcoming Physics exam. Using Dave's knowledge, I should get 100% right?

%Dave *

[♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ]

In times we got to wonder how much fart can Dave produce given a specific window of time. The following formula calculates the amount of farts:

F = R^2 * (M*Fp^2/3) * sin(A)

Where:
F -> amount of farts calculated in "Elios" (short term: Es)
R -> a constant describing what he have eaten (0.3 for cakes, 1.003 for sodas, -5.508 for other things)
M -> the mass of the eaten object
Fp -> frequency on which his mouth opened and then closed [to perform the act of food consumption]
A -> the angle on which his butthole has been positioned relative with the ground he's sitting/standing

Credits goes to me ofc

[[MPGH]Mayion]

The first computer created to decrypt Enigma in the WW2, I am pretty sure wouldn't be able to process and calculate Dave's weight

[Dab]

Wait so dave weighs 500 tons? How do you know his weight?

[[MPGH]Hero]

Excellent work, Dr. Professor Yamiez. I am currently hard at work to providing my next set of theories to the field of Dave (Fat) physics. I must undergo some testing currently, but I am currently studying the effects of the Big Bang in relation with fat. It seems he grows at the same rate as the speed of the current expanding of the universe. It is still quite in its infancy stage as of now, but we will have a structured basis conclusion soon.

[[MPGH]Lily]

I failed my physics test by using this formula.

[[MPGH]Hugo Boss]

Hi,

My name is Hugo Boss. I am a researcher for the MPGH Cancer Society.
My colleague @Mayion and I are developing a cure for the cancer in the General Section.
We are working towards a partnership with the two current Global Moderators of MPGH, @Flengo and @Hero
Together, we have developed a hypothesis, and are currently experimenting the relationships between cake, posting, and cancer on MPGH.
We have gathered an approximate of 100 ethnographic studies from our resources and plan on using the information to help our study.
Our experiments will consist of qualitative and quantitative measures.
So far, the information we have gathered is that cake can lower poverty rates, help the impoverished, and potentially cure the cancer on the General Section of MPGH.

Our study will continue to take place for the next decade and will be sure to find a cure in the near future.
We hope to have your support and soon eradicate cancer in the General Section of MPGH together.
On the side note, The Law of Dave Physics seems to be upgrading, evolving, and becoming more accurate.
Prior to the theories we all know by Sir Lance, the empirical investigations done by Dr. Professor Yamiez are outstanding, and phenomenal.
We look forward to form future partnership with you two for investigations in the future.


Best wishes,
Hugo Boss
Researcher from the MPGH Cancer Society
#FightCancerInTheGeneralSection
#StandUpToCancer

[[MPGH]Psychotic]

Dr. @ @Yamiez, Dr. @Hero And Dr. @Hugo Boss all extremely credible individuals in the study of Dave Physics.

One possible proposal I have is adjusting our function to support the Newton as when dealing with an object as large as the Dave it is found in the professional field we use Newtons instead of kilograms.