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  1. #1
    ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ's Avatar
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    Cooking with your semen

    Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
    About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
    I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.
    Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
    My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.
    I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

    NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T COOK THEIR OWN RICE
    RICE COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
    -
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T POP THEIR OWN POPCORN
    POPCORN POPPERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
    -
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T BOIL THEIR OWN PASTA
    PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
    -
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR OWN EGGS
    EGG SEPARATORS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
    -
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T MILL THEIR OWN GRAIN
    GRAIN MILLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
    -
    OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T PULL THEIR OWN NOODLES
    PASTA ROLLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

  2. #2
    Horror's Avatar
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    What in the world ...
     

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  3. #3
    Spaghetti Master's Avatar
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    Didn't read any of it, and I still think you are gay for eating semen.
    I constantly post OC on my tumblr: https://spaghetti-master.tumblr.com/



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  4. #4
    Music.'s Avatar
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    "Don't argue with an idiot they'll just drag you to their level and beat you with experience"

    "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

     
    [IMG]https://i163.photobucke*****m/albums/t289/joshcarr_2007z.png[/IMG]
    Quote Originally Posted by bibi View Post
    >Be 6-7 years old
    >be with 2 friends alone at home
    >someone comes with the idea of showing our cocks
    >we pull them out
    >We start touching each others cocks
    >then we stop and a few days go by
    >Same situation happens and we blow each other
    >We try to fuck each other in the ass
    >Toosmallcock.jpg




  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Music. For This Useful Post:

    Diminished (06-29-2013),Spaghetti Master (06-27-2013)

  6. #5
    Gray's Avatar
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    Apparently it looks like tuna if you cook it.
    Saw a photo of it several years ago.

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    TripperNet's Avatar
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    Wait wut the fuck? ahahaha It looks like tuna when you cook it xD

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    Spaghetti Master (06-27-2013)

  9. #7
    Niet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antipathy View Post
    Apparently it looks like tuna if you cook it.
    Saw a photo of it several years ago.
    I fucking love tuna
    The world is a filthy place, it's a filthy goddamn horror show.

  10. #8
    Music.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niet View Post


    I fucking love tuna
    would you like for us to gangbang you and then cook our semen and feed it to you ?


    "Don't argue with an idiot they'll just drag you to their level and beat you with experience"

    "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

     
    [IMG]https://i163.photobucke*****m/albums/t289/joshcarr_2007z.png[/IMG]
    Quote Originally Posted by bibi View Post
    >Be 6-7 years old
    >be with 2 friends alone at home
    >someone comes with the idea of showing our cocks
    >we pull them out
    >We start touching each others cocks
    >then we stop and a few days go by
    >Same situation happens and we blow each other
    >We try to fuck each other in the ass
    >Toosmallcock.jpg




  11. #9
    Bernard's Avatar
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    Is cooking babies close enough?
    Rep. Power: 126

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  12. #10
    Gray's Avatar
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    +1 on what Vice said, I'd prefer cooking a fullgrown one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Niet View Post


    I fucking love tuna
    Of course you do.
    Also, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...g-numbers.html

  13. #11
    Music.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antipathy View Post
    +1 on what Vice said, I'd prefer cooking a fullgrown one.
    would rather eat it plain rather than cooking it


    "Don't argue with an idiot they'll just drag you to their level and beat you with experience"

    "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

     
    [IMG]https://i163.photobucke*****m/albums/t289/joshcarr_2007z.png[/IMG]
    Quote Originally Posted by bibi View Post
    >Be 6-7 years old
    >be with 2 friends alone at home
    >someone comes with the idea of showing our cocks
    >we pull them out
    >We start touching each others cocks
    >then we stop and a few days go by
    >Same situation happens and we blow each other
    >We try to fuck each other in the ass
    >Toosmallcock.jpg




  14. #12
    Niet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Music. View Post


    would you like for us to gangbang you and then cook our semen and feed it to you ?
    A CS won't bang anyone.
    The world is a filthy place, it's a filthy goddamn horror show.

  15. #13
    Music.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niet View Post


    A CS won't bang anyone.
    It's just a title, under that is my cock

    would bang you tho


    "Don't argue with an idiot they'll just drag you to their level and beat you with experience"

    "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

     
    [IMG]https://i163.photobucke*****m/albums/t289/joshcarr_2007z.png[/IMG]
    Quote Originally Posted by bibi View Post
    >Be 6-7 years old
    >be with 2 friends alone at home
    >someone comes with the idea of showing our cocks
    >we pull them out
    >We start touching each others cocks
    >then we stop and a few days go by
    >Same situation happens and we blow each other
    >We try to fuck each other in the ass
    >Toosmallcock.jpg




  16. #14
    Predator's Avatar
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  17. #15
    Niet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antipathy View Post
    +1 on what Vice said, I'd prefer cooking a fullgrown one.



    Of course you do.
    Also, Tuna face extinction within 50 years as rising popularity of sushi is blamed on declining numbers | Mail Online
    ... extinction within 50 years? I'll be dead by then

    Quote Originally Posted by Music. View Post


    It's just a title, under that is my cock

    would bang you tho
    I think you should stick to eating plain semen.
     
    Quote Originally Posted by Music. View Post


    would rather eat it plain rather than cooking it
    The world is a filthy place, it's a filthy goddamn horror show.

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