Ahaha brilliant. These are offensive but I admit I laughed to 2 or 3... xD
Ever heard of ethiopian food? Neither have they.
A father walks into a pharmacy, goes to the counter and asks the pharmacist about getting birth control for his 11 year old daughter.
"My god, your 11 year old is sexually active!" the pharmacist exclaims.
The dad replies "not really, she just lies there and cries."
Didnt read yours, mine is similar @asianmudkip
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
If you need help hacking, please add me on Skype! I'd be glad to help anyone!*
Why do black people have nightmares?
The last one to have a dream got shot.
Reav3R (09-18-2014)
Okay, I'm going to have a wall of them, so spoiler incoming. They get dark.
What's the difference between acne and your priest?
Acne waits 'til you're twelve to come on your face.
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods has a better driver.
The media frenzy when Princess Diana died was crazy - she was all over the radio...not to mention most of the dash and car bonnet too.
How do you know princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish cunt said, "The '70s called... They want their shirt back!"
I said, "The '40s called... Your shower's ready."
How do you get a jewish girl's number?
Roll up her sleeve.
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says, "Show me it's true what they say about black men." So he stabs her and nicks her purse.
Best part of dating an Ethiopian chick?
You know they're going to swallow.
3 kids in school one day. The teacher asks them, "What do cows say?" Amy replies "moo!" Teacher then asks, "What do sheep say?" Jack replies, "baa!" Teacher then asks, "What do pigs say?" Leroy says "Freeze motherfuckin' ******, what's in the fuckin' bag?"
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
Boy walks in on his dad masturbating. Never having seen anyone do this, he says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"
His dad replies, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon enough!"
"Really? Why's that, Daddy?"
"Well, my arm is getting tired..."
Last edited by Compensate; 09-17-2014 at 06:04 PM.
Double post because MPGH went down /delete
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Reav3R (09-18-2014),TheGloriousRance (09-18-2014)
What do you call a black woman whos had 7 abortions?
A crime fighter.
Harpoon. (09-18-2014)
I got dis.
What do you do if an epileptic falls into a pool?
Throw your dirty laundry in as well.