Flaming.. MOUZIE WAY:
I clearly can't let Kool's misinformation and misguided arguments about anarchism go by without comment. Let's start with my claim that I wonder if Kool really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? I've excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that I have a plan to give you some background information about Kool. I call this plan "Operation send Kool's jokes into the dustbin where they belong". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that there is no place in this country where we are safe from Kool's bedfellows, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. There are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Kool finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that he try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that Kool occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being inimical barbarians. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Kool habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that as the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, the most believable explanation for many of the destructive trends in politics, economics, morality, and other key areas over the past two years is that a secretive, incredibly puerile, well-organized movement has been striving relentlessly to destroy our moral fiber. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Kool". In it, I chronicle all of Kool's orations from the sex-crazed to the stuporous and conclude that ever since Kool decided to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm, his consistent, unvarying line has been that the sky is falling.
What Kool does in private is none of my business. But when he tries to rip apart causes that others feel strongly about, I object. Please note that when I finish writing this letter you might not hear from me again for a while. I simply don't have enough strength left to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to challenge the soft bigotry of low expectations. Nevertheless, in a vain effort to exculpate himself, Kool has been proclaiming to the world that he has done no wrong. Rather, it was his worshippers who have been forcing his moral code on the rest of us. I suppose the next thing he'll have us believe is that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time.
You've never heard that Kool's intention is to destroy the heart and fabric of our nation? That's because his drones have been staging a massive cover-up for quite some time now. But if you keep your eyes open you'll notice that if he were to get his hands on the levers of power he'd immediately impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function. If you don't believe me then consider that only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that I stand foursquare in defense of liberty, freedom of speech, and the right to criticize the worst kinds of jackbooted, hypersensitive bribe-seekers there are. I will now cite the proof of that statement. The proof begins with the observation that Kool stands for rogue authority, social directives, and onerous laws that weaken personal freedoms. I mean, think about it. Currently, Kool lacks the clout to emphasize the negative in our lives instead of accentuating the positive. But any day now, he will have enough grunts to muster enough force to teach the next generation how to hate—and whom to hate. In closing, we must work together to treat the blows of circumstance. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always.