Distress tolerance is used to cope with traumas like loosing family. Distress tolerance include mindfulness, self soothing and side breathing. You should look into it. If you feel like hurting yourself its normal, your body releases endorfins when u cut or self mutilate that take the pain away for a short period of time. Instead of hurting yourself try grabbing ice in your hand, it still releases endorfins without mutilation.
And last is radical acceptance, it basically means move on and live in the moment, accept and confront your feelings