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  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i don't wanna google this shit for an answer. i was some opinions. so my best friend (girl), who i want to be my girlfriend is stuck on this one guy who won't even talk to her. it's been going on for 3 years. 3 years. i guess they hung out 3 times throughout the 3 years and kissed once. they never dated or anything, he called them 'best friends'. she tried to get over him by stop talking to him but she couldn't handle it and went back to him recently. i don't understand why she keeps going back to him, she calls him a dick everytime we talk about him.

    how do i get my friend over this guy!!?? i don't want her talking about him anymore, and i want her to be mine.

    she told me that if he did something that screamed 'i'm a dick' then she would stop talking to him, but i've been telling her that he has been doing that the whole time. i don't know what to do..
    How long do you know this girl?
    How long do you know the guy?
    Girls are stubborn, but the move-on time needs ALOT of time.
    Based on my experience, ( uhm a lil bit the same but not 3 years, like 1 year and a half) I will talk to the other guy and tell him that if he doesn't like her just leave her alone.
    He won't even talk to her, i mean come on.
    So what if they hang out for 3 years and kissed? PAST IS PAST.


    If you really like(love) her. Give some gesture that you will be there WHATEVER it takes.
    Surprise her by bringing flowers at her front porch. ( shitty corny things like that )

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i don't want her talking about him anymore, and i want her to be mine.
    then stop talking bout it and talk about the things between you AND her.


    just my opinion.
    Oh and, the girl I'm talking about? We're Engaged
    Been there. Done that.All you need is perseverance.


    Quote Originally Posted by Nyaro View Post
    Show her that you want to be with her.
    +1 to this

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    but she doesnt want me to and if i go ttalk to anonymously she would know it would be me and get mad. so i cant really talk to him.
    She has the right to be mad but BRO, you need the BALLS to talk to this guy or you will forever see that the girl of your dreams is gone for good.

    “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...”
    ― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight
    Last edited by Zaabu; 06-01-2016 at 12:17 PM. Reason: Just read the comments too goddamn late




     
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  3. #17
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    I was hella attached to a girl, but she wasnt feeling the same for me, and the way I got over her is to talk to someone else. Take the girl out on dates and message keep talking to her.

  4. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i already talk and spend time with her everyday but shes always aad because of this fucking loser. i just don't get it. ive tried to get her over him but it didnt work. i want to take a break from her and tell her to come back to me when shes over that kid because i know she will miss me a lot, but i wouldnt be able to do that. i would talk to this kid myself, i would. but she doesnt want me to and if i go ttalk to anonymously she would know it would be me and get mad. so i cant really talk to him.
    You are a cuck man.

    Alpha the fuck up. If you think talking to her every day ,coddling her every time she gets rejected by that faggot and basically being her bff will conjure a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with her then you're sadly mistaken.

    You have to stop being at hand and foot , Let her be alone for a bit and she'll realize what shes has instead of trying to get something she can't.

    And if she doesn't ,move on they're plenty of cum dumpsters in the sea.
    Last edited by FlexGod; 06-01-2016 at 01:14 PM.
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  6. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by flex1178 View Post
    You are a cuck man.

    Alpha the fuck up. If you think talking to her every day ,coddling her every time she gets rejected by that faggot and basically being her bff will conjure a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with her then you're sadly mistaken.

    You have to stop being at hand and foot , Let her be alone for a bit and she'll realize what shes has instead of trying to get something she can't.

    And if she doesn't ,move on they're plenty of cum dumpsters in the sea.
    That's one way of doing it.
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  7. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creator View Post

    That's one way of doing it.
    I may be a weeb who watches way to much anime but at the end of the day I still fuck bitches.
    This guy should take my advice.
    NightOwl


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  9. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zaabu View Post
    How long do you know this girl?
    How long do you know the guy?
    Girls are stubborn, but the move-on time needs ALOT of time.
    Based on my experience, ( uhm a lil bit the same but not 3 years, like 1 year and a half) I will talk to the other guy and tell him that if he doesn't like her just leave her alone.
    He won't even talk to her, i mean come on.
    So what if they hang out for 3 years and kissed? PAST IS PAST.


    If you really like(love) her. Give some gesture that you will be there WHATEVER it takes.
    Surprise her by bringing flowers at her front porch. ( shitty corny things like that )



    then stop talking bout it and talk about the things between you AND her.


    just my opinion.
    Oh and, the girl I'm talking about? We're Engaged
    Been there. Done that.All you need is perseverance.




    +1 to this



    She has the right to be mad but BRO, you need the BALLS to talk to this guy or you will forever see that the girl of your dreams is gone for good.

    “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...”
    ― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight
    Quote Originally Posted by flex1178 View Post
    You are a cuck man.

    Alpha the fuck up. If you think talking to her every day ,coddling her every time she gets rejected by that faggot and basically being her bff will conjure a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with her then you're sadly mistaken.

    You have to stop being at hand and foot , Let her be alone for a bit and she'll realize what shes has instead of trying to get something she can't.

    And if she doesn't ,move on they're plenty of cum dumpsters in the sea.
    i do hang out with her plenty, but i'm not pushing for a sexual relationship. what we have right now is basically a relationship but without the sexual stuff. we do shit alone all the time. we see each other everyday and do things outside of school a lot. i've been friends with her for over a year now and i've told her that i like her, she knows. she told me that she couldn't look at me as more than just a friend, because of this kid.

    i really do want to take a break from her and just stop talking and see how it goes. i know that she will come back and say that she misses me, but i don't think i can do it myself. i would talk to do kid, but it's not like if i don't and they somehow get together that i won't get to see her again. she won't be leaving my life, i just don't want to hear about this kid anymore. i don't care if we aren't together. being her friend is enough, but i hate how she's doing this to herself.

  10. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i already talk and spend time with her everyday but shes always aad because of this fucking loser. i just don't get it. ive tried to get her over him but it didnt work. i want to take a break from her and tell her to come back to me when shes over that kid because i know she will miss me a lot, but i wouldnt be able to do that. i would talk to this kid myself, i would. but she doesnt want me to and if i go ttalk to anonymously she would know it would be me and get mad. so i cant really talk to him.

    The best way to ensure her actually missing you is leaving her be for sometime, and see how she handles with the situation of you leaving her, don't talk to her and ignore her (may sound really stupid, but it'll help) - if the person truly misses you, then they try their best to get your attention, eventually she may even kiss you without you noticing it... Man up, seriously... Yes it may come out turd from a person who can't say NO to an abusive relationship, but oh-well...
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  11. #23
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    Just be honest.

    tell her straight up that you're interested

  12. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i already talk and spend time with her everyday but shes always aad because of this fucking loser. i just don't get it. ive tried to get her over him but it didnt work. i want to take a break from her and tell her to come back to me when shes over that kid because i know she will miss me a lot, but i wouldnt be able to do that. i would talk to this kid myself, i would. but she doesnt want me to and if i go ttalk to anonymously she would know it would be me and get mad. so i cant really talk to him.
    This is a good idea too. Leaving someone and then them realising that you were the one for her. The thing is, if she never liked you in this sexual way, she will miss you as a friend. And she will date you because she wants you in her life (but not really as a bf). The other thing is, she may never get over him, and forget about you. Before you even make this move, you need tell her how you feel, cuz she doesn't know. This could ruin your entire relationship with her. However, if she does like you in more than a friend. Well that's perfect.

    This option is risky.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    i'm not pushing for a sexual relationship
    Sexual relationship will basically seperate your friendship into something more. It doesn't have to be sex or anything. Just more flirty, and more physical. Helping you get out of the friend zone.
    Last edited by Nik; 06-01-2016 at 07:09 PM.

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  14. #25
    Zaabu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nik View Post
    Sexual relationship will basically seperate your friendship into something more. It doesn't have to be sex or anything. Just more flirty, and more physical. Helping you get out of the friend zone.
    HE IS GODDAMN RIGHT

    I //Approve to this




     
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  16. #26
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    This sorta happened to me. Girl was obsessed with this dude because it was her first serious relationship. Dude turns out to be a dick. He cheats. They break up. I'm like hey what's up? Had a little bit of a crush. She's still pissed about her relationship and has become sort of an alcoholic and hookah user. I feel bad for her since she was a great childhood friend of mine. Try to get her to forget about her ex. Doesn't work. I expressed my interest. She was like naw. She decides to get back together with her ex. He cheats again (or at least that's what the word on the street was). I shake my head cause her stupidity bothers me. I'm not even salty that she rejected me, I'm more salty that she got back with someone that cheated on her, if you're gonna choose someone else at least choose someone decent. Anyways, they break up for the 2nd time after a week or two. I laugh that she didn't listen to me. Now we don't talk anymore and I don't care how her life has gone downhill. I tried.
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  18. #27
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    Alright people, I see all these tips and tricks and onviously every situation is different and for every situation there are tons of options what to do and where to go. Everything will be risky and/or complicated. I get that love is a strong emotion and that it fucks up your mind.

    Now I don't know if it specifically here or if it is a generation under me but it seems like things are getting more complicated for people. So let me just say a few words in general about all this drama complicated messes you can get into and what can help you.

    Step 1: rationalize your emotions and some consequences. Try to understand that losing a person can be devestating but it's not the end of the world. Yes thats how it feels but it's far from true. It's just love fucking up and manipulating your mind. You'll cry in your sleep for some nights but nothing you can't get over. And I absolutely HATE this saying but: "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger". Bleh.

    Step 2: Now that we can look more calmly at the situation it's time to think of what to do about it. Yes some options are given here with some tactics. But generally you should do what feels right in your situation. No one knows the girl and no one knows how she will respond to any of this apart from you. You have an idea. I am generally a person from the clear and straight forward communication. Yes it might take some balls and it might be risky. But you guys are talking for years now or so. There's really no point in waiting longer. The thing is, you both got pretty well connected when you met, hence you 2 got to become good friends and hang out together. Obviously there was a connection between you 2. You both had a certain interest in each other, which probably could have developped into something more. But, you both didn't which brings you into a next phase, friendship. This makes things a lot more complicated. It creates an effect similar to what happens with family. It's called Westermarck effect . Now you can do 100 of different tactics and hope it will work. It might be but I do not like or appreciate manipulation. You'll probably confuse one another.

    Step 3: Tell her. Okay this might be the harder part. You need balls and preperation for this. You need to be clear in your words and don't turn around it. Don't be mean but don't hold things back. You will probably overwhelm her. Partly because she at least used to have mutual feelings to you. Which is good, it brings up emotion. That always helps in your favor. Do find a right timing, although overwhelming is good, don't do it when she is stressed already about something. It could work against you.

    Step 4: Reflect. Yes, sounds stupid. But whatever the outcome is, there is a great lesson to learn from this situation for you. Whenever you get in a similar situation later in your life. You should be happy you took the time realise what happened and how to prevent getting in this situation again. Some questions to ask yourself is. Was there a better time to tell her? (Like 3 months ago?, how was my communication?, have I done the right thing? Did i make her happier or is she even more miserable now? How do I feel, do I feel good about what I did, should I repeat it or change some things for my own sake?) Well you get the point.

    Good luck and all the best!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Sorry for all the typose and whatever errors are in there, on phone.

  19. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bernard. View Post
    This sorta happened to me. Girl was obsessed with this dude because it was her first serious relationship. Dude turns out to be a dick. He cheats. They break up. I'm like hey what's up? Had a little bit of a crush. She's still pissed about her relationship and has become sort of an alcoholic and hookah user. I feel bad for her since she was a great childhood friend of mine. Try to get her to forget about her ex. Doesn't work. I expressed my interest. She was like naw. She decides to get back together with her ex. He cheats again (or at least that's what the word on the street was). I shake my head cause her stupidity bothers me. I'm not even salty that she rejected me, I'm more salty that she got back with someone that cheated on her, if you're gonna choose someone else at least choose someone decent. Anyways, they break up for the 2nd time after a week or two. I laugh that she didn't listen to me. Now we don't talk anymore and I don't care how her life has gone downhill. I tried.
    You gave up too easy for your friend. Sometimes people get hooked on bad people and it's not until some really bad happens the second, or even third time they realize they fucked up. I have problems, like I procrastinate so much, I don't do anything school related on time. I'm hooked procrastinating. And I don't mean like, oh I procrastinated, big whoop, it affecting every part of my life and I know its bad. Bad things have already happened to me, but I still haven't fully realized to stop.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Sam View Post
    Alright people, I see all these tips and tricks and onviously every situation is different and for every situation there are tons of options what to do and where to go. Everything will be risky and/or complicated. I get that love is a strong emotion and that it fucks up your mind.

    Now I don't know if it specifically here or if it is a generation under me but it seems like things are getting more complicated for people. So let me just say a few words in general about all this drama complicated messes you can get into and what can help you.

    Step 1: rationalize your emotions and some consequences. Try to understand that losing a person can be devestating but it's not the end of the world. Yes thats how it feels but it's far from true. It's just love fucking up and manipulating your mind. You'll cry in your sleep for some nights but nothing you can't get over. And I absolutely HATE this saying but: "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger". Bleh.

    Step 2: Now that we can look more calmly at the situation it's time to think of what to do about it. Yes some options are given here with some tactics. But generally you should do what feels right in your situation. No one knows the girl and no one knows how she will respond to any of this apart from you. You have an idea. I am generally a person from the clear and straight forward communication. Yes it might take some balls and it might be risky. But you guys are talking for years now or so. There's really no point in waiting longer. The thing is, you both got pretty well connected when you met, hence you 2 got to become good friends and hang out together. Obviously there was a connection between you 2. You both had a certain interest in each other, which probably could have developped into something more. But, you both didn't which brings you into a next phase, friendship. This makes things a lot more complicated. It creates an effect similar to what happens with family. It's called Westermarck effect . Now you can do 100 of different tactics and hope it will work. It might be but I do not like or appreciate manipulation. You'll probably confuse one another.

    Step 3: Tell her. Okay this might be the harder part. You need balls and preperation for this. You need to be clear in your words and don't turn around it. Don't be mean but don't hold things back. You will probably overwhelm her. Partly because she at least used to have mutual feelings to you. Which is good, it brings up emotion. That always helps in your favor. Do find a right timing, although overwhelming is good, don't do it when she is stressed already about something. It could work against you.

    Step 4: Reflect. Yes, sounds stupid. But whatever the outcome is, there is a great lesson to learn from this situation for you. Whenever you get in a similar situation later in your life. You should be happy you took the time realise what happened and how to prevent getting in this situation again. Some questions to ask yourself is. Was there a better time to tell her? (Like 3 months ago?, how was my communication?, have I done the right thing? Did i make her happier or is she even more miserable now? How do I feel, do I feel good about what I did, should I repeat it or change some things for my own sake?) Well you get the point.

    Good luck and all the best!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Sorry for all the typose and whatever errors are in there, on phone.
    This shit works if you know the girl likes you back a little. This is too balls deep, I think this will ruin/make the relationship awkward (both friendship and future couple relationship) if she doesn't like him back.

  20. #29
    Sammy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nik View Post

    This shit works if you know the girl likes you back a little. This is too balls deep, I think this will ruin/make the relationship awkward (both friendship and future couple relationship) if she doesn't like him back.
    I wouldn't know really because I've never been in these kind of situations but, in all honesty to expect her at first to tell her feelings for him is really darn small. Knowing she probably used to have feelings for him but didnt clear that out with him. It's why he got in this situation he is in now in the first place! In the end he will have to make the first move, so whatever tactic you will apply. It's going to be awkward if she rejects him. She needs a guy that has the balls to take the first step. That's what I think at least.

  21. #30
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    i havent read through all the text, but i have already told her that i like her, that i have those type of feelings for her. she told me shes just too stuck on this kid.

    im currently taking a break from her and she how long itll take for her to say something to me

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