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  1. #1
    Juan's Avatar
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    How to get rid of a body

    First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

    Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

    If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
    That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

    Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

    Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

    Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.
    MindTek Exists As A Harm Reduction Nigga And Does Not Condemn Or Condone.

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  2. #2
    whtlight's Avatar
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    Copy and paste
    Lol I read only the first and last paragraphs.
    50 grand every week, fuckin' rat budget.
    I win, always.

  3. #3
    Obama's Avatar
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    How to get rid of a body.

    Burn it.
    Last edited by Obama; 01-29-2010 at 08:31 PM.

  4. #4
    whtlight's Avatar
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    Leave it on the floor put some cocaine on the body and put a gun in his hand.
    50 grand every week, fuckin' rat budget.
    I win, always.

  5. #5
    GOD's Avatar
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    eat it .
    I am the God.

  6. #6
    jmend736's Avatar
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    Put it in a car and set car on fire. 3-4 Hours later the car explode and people think that he was stuck in a burning car...

    Iím afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.

  7. #7
    RJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obama View Post
    How to get right of a body.

    Burn it.
    And then

    Quote Originally Posted by GOD View Post
    eat it .

    END THE FED

  8. #8
    Czar's Avatar
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    Who would want to get rid of it?
    lolnecromancy

  9. #9
    Juan's Avatar
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    you guys are stupid. thats how you get
    rid of a body without any traces behind.
    MindTek Exists As A Harm Reduction Nigga And Does Not Condemn Or Condone.

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  10. #10
    Doc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmend736 View Post
    Put it in a car and set car on fire. 3-4 Hours later the car explode and people think that he was stuck in a burning car...
    Burning cars don't explode -_-

  11. #11
    scimmyboy's Avatar
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    yes it does, if the fire gets into the fuel tank

  12. #12
    Juan's Avatar
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    but there will still be evidence that someone did it.
    and not the person them self. they look at little
    things.
    MindTek Exists As A Harm Reduction Nigga And Does Not Condemn Or Condone.

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  13. #13
    alfonso951's Avatar
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    just make someone divide by zero and he will implode into nothing, the perfect crime.

  14. #14
    Doc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justin View Post
    yes it does, if the fire gets into the fuel tank


    Fuel is flammable but non-explosive. The only way for it to "explode" is if was under immense pressure in which it wouldn't actually be an explosion but just a puff of flames. Please learn your stuff before saying such stupid things. Your supposed to be getting A Grades at school.

  15. #15
    jmend736's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drsynyster View Post


    Burning cars don't explode -_-
    :|
    Ok then just let it burn same thing

    Iím afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.

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