What is it:
It is apparently a totally sexually perverse lost book of the Bible. It's not hard to see why it didn't survive--church officials back in the day said the book was inspiring all kinds of depravity, from "free love" to "coitus interruptus and eating semen as a religious act."
Why it's Awesome:
Ah ha! The truth comes out! A book like this could deliver a potentially fatal blow to all that 2,000 years' worth of celibacy Christians had to set their watch to. For all we know, The Gospel of Eve could have been that Good News mankind had been waiting for or, failing that, it could've been totally fucking hot.
Why You'll Never Read It:
In the 4th Century church officials like Epiphanius lashed out at the book, apparently having nothing better to do than stop everyone from having sex and eating a little bit of semen. And he got away with it.Heh heh heh.
Whatever copies that asshole Epiphanius didn't torch, the Pope probably has stashed under his mattress. And Pope, if you're reading this (who are we kidding "if"), we will pay good, hard American dollars for copies of that book.