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  1. #121
    Heartview's Avatar
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    A blonde brunette and a redhead were taking a hike one time, when they cam across a magic cliff. A sign posted next to the cliff said "Magic Cliff: Jump off and call out the one thing you want to be most, and you will have your wish granted."

    They figured that they should give it a shot.

    So the redhead jumps off the cliff, and calls out, "An Eagle!" So she turned into a majestic eagle and flew off into the horizon.

    The brunette jumped and said "A dolphin!" So she turned into a dolphin, landing in the sea to spend the rest of her life playing with other dolphins.

    The blond jumped, but right as she jumped, she forgot what it was she wanted to be. "Shit!" she cried out in anger. So she turned into a pile of shit and landed with a plop at the bottom of the cliff.
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    Obedear, the sky is low

  2. #122
    InHuman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ac1d_buRn View Post
    The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.
    I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex
    It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said
    I wanna watch.

    LOOOL
    ahaha i like this one

  3. #123
    Physcadelic's Avatar
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    Q: What's another name for a grandfather clock?

    A: An old timer!


    R.I.P a great GM




    Quote Originally Posted by Assalamu alaikum View Post
    what? maybe stop talk with riddles and with words i am not even know.

  4. #124
    Heartview's Avatar
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    A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were riding on a plane, when suddenly the plane started to fall rapidly, and the pilot rushed out from the cockpit saying that he had lost all control. Scrambling to find parachutes, they find that they only have 3 on the plane.

    The pilot takes one look at the girls, grabs a parachute, and jumps out of the plane screaming "FUCK YOU!"

    The blond grabs a parachute, jumps out of the plane, and screams "FUCK YOU!"

    The rehead looks to the brunette and says "Take the last parachute, I will stay behind." The brunette laughs and says, "Why? There is still two parachutes left. That dumb bitch just grabbed my backpack and jumped out."
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    Obedear, the sky is low

  5. #125
    CheeseTea's Avatar
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    What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

    Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven.

    [Please don't ban me...]

  6. #126
    xfiredoomx's Avatar
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    How do you blindfold a chink?
    Dental floss.

    How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
    Cut the rope.


    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseTea View Post
    What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

    Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven.

    [Please don't ban me...]
    Whast the difference between an apple and a black guy?
    none. They both hang from trees
    /no ban
    Last edited by xfiredoomx; 02-26-2011 at 09:02 PM.
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  7. #127
    Physcadelic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseTea View Post
    What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

    Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven.

    [Please don't ban me...]
    Not funny...

    R.I.P a great GM




    Quote Originally Posted by Assalamu alaikum View Post
    what? maybe stop talk with riddles and with words i am not even know.

  8. #128
    Heartview's Avatar
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    A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.

    "I'm here for the paint job," she said.

    "Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."

    The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.

    After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a porsche out back. It's a new BMW.

    I know I am not the only one on MPGH with jokes. :\
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    Obedear, the sky is low

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