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  1. #1
    Swiftdude's Avatar
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    Santa Claus for the smart people

    1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle most Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
    Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    4)If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is2950.7 tons.

    5) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the cruise ship Queen Elizabeth II.

    6) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to acceleration forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.




    In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
    Still love you Giggletron


  2. #2
    EminemJr's Avatar
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    Damn you got all educated there or got from a website ...

    Lol and #2 you said persons .

  3. #3
    iverson954360's Avatar
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    Santa was a Nazi.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to iverson954360 For This Useful Post:

    Lehsyrus (11-28-2011)

  5. #4
    Swiftdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EminemJr View Post
    Damn you got all educated there or got from a website ...

    Lol and #2 you said persons .
    a friend posted it on facebook (physics nerd) so either he came up with it. or he got it from a website.
    Still love you Giggletron


  6. #5
    ~Shadow's Avatar
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    all that work to tell me hes dead.....or a nazi?

  7. #6
    EminemJr's Avatar
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    Damn #4 fat nigga lol.

  8. #7
    Canadian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iverson954360 View Post
    Santa was a Nazi.
    why would a jew be a nazi?

  9. #8
    ☬Ξη†τσρîζ Ζσ♍βîε δτσηε☬
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    Lehsyrus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Canadian View Post

    why would a jew be a nazi?
    I'm fairly sure that when Coca-Cola invented Santa-Claus they didn't intend for him to be Jewish. It sounds like you're referencing Jesus, in which that is irrelevant

  10. #9
    derkman's Avatar
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    Poor Santa


  11. #10
    Poison's Avatar
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    way to kill my xmas spirit

  12. #11
    Swiftdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lehsyrus View Post


    Enjoy your infraction for spam.

    I still stand by the point that Santa Claus was created by Coca-Cola That's a fact.
    saying that Coca-cola never became a legit soda company until 1944...and the story (written and accepted) of Santa Claus dates back to about 1800.... yea doesnt work.
    Still love you Giggletron


  13. #12
    Azathᴏth's Avatar
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    You forgot that Santa is a Time Lord.

  14. #13
    Swiftdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
    You forgot that Santa is a Time Lord.
    only thing that affects is the force load and the time between each house....sooo he is still fat and burns up in the atmosphere :F
    Still love you Giggletron


  15. #14
    AVGN's Avatar
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    I believe in Santa



    ^Thanks to RJ^




  16. #15
    Azathᴏth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftdude View Post

    only thing that affects is the force load and the time between each house....sooo he is still fat and burns up in the atmosphere :F
    Naws. He has all the time in the world to eat dem cookies. Deliver dem presents. And go to dem houses.

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