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  1. #1
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    Tell me what you think about my song

    Tell me how this song sounds or atleast the lyrics if you can't read the tab.

    Constructive criticism, no faggots. I'm writing a new song to play live. Thank you.

    CAPO 7
    Standard Tuning

    e
    B
    G
    D
    A
    E

    INTRO:

    e|-0-0-3-0-0-| |-0-0-3-0-0-| |-0-0-3-0-0-| |-0-0-3-0-0-|
    B|-0-3-3-3-0-| |-0-3-3-3-0-| |-0-3-3-3-0-| |-0-3-3-3-0-|
    G|-0-0-0-0-0-| |-2-2-2-2-2-| |-0-0-0-0-0-| |-0-0-0-0-0-|
    D|-0-0-0-0-0-| |-0-0-0-0-0-| |-2-2-2-2-2-| |-2-2-2-2-2-|
    A|-2-2-2-2-2-| |-0-0-0-0-0-| |-2-2-2-2-2-| |-3-3-3-3-3-|
    E|-3-3-3-3-3-| |-2-2-2-2-2-| |-0-0-0-0-0-| |-0-0-0-0-0-|

    Each Chord x3 Last 4th chord x4 of each set.

    CHORUS:

    |-0-| |-0-| |-0-| |-0-|
    |-1-| |-1-| |-1-| |-3-|
    |-2-| |-0-| |-0-| |-0-|
    |-2-| |-2-| |-0-| |-0-|
    |-0-| |-3-| |-2-| |-2-|
    |-0-| |-0-| |-3-| |-3-|

    Each chord x8

    LYRICS:

    (intro)
    Warm
    Warm is the wrong word
    That I would use to describe you
    I’m only telling the truth
    Cold
    Such a vague meaning but
    Cold is how I left you
    Standing there in the parking lot
    As I gave it all back
    Even your moms melting pots
    Wrong
    I know you were everything
    The one thing that was my only thing
    Guess the part of jealously
    Made hate me.

    (chorus)
    I have nothing ill against
    Hope you don’t feel the pain.
    Go around and be ok.
    But I’m telling you
    I’m not going to stay
    No matter what you say
    I'm not okay

    (intro)
    Fast-forward two years later
    Now you’re a statue
    So petrified you can’t move
    Immobile
    Sitting there emotionless
    I didn’t do this
    Your insecurity
    Made me the enemy so
    I had to leave you petrified

    (chorus)
    I have nothing ill against
    Hope you don’t feel the pain.
    Go around and be ok.
    But I’m telling you
    I’m not going to stay
    No matter what you say
    I'm not okay

    (intro)
    Ice covered on your face
    When are you gonna break
    Peppermint last
    Only One day
    So one last time
    Take a look back
    Find all your answers
    To why I went away.

    (chorus)
    I have nothing ill against
    Hope you don’t feel the pain.
    Go around and be ok.
    But I’m telling you
    I’m not going to stay
    No matter what you say
    I'm not okay

  2. #2
    kevin66062's Avatar
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    Your lyrics? Wow..It's good enough to be sung.
    ]

  3. #3
    GOD's Avatar
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    what type of music is this? rap/rock/? sounds like a soft romantic type..

    nice lyrics
    I am the God.

  4. #4
    Iwin's Avatar
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    are you gonna use FL studio? Just wondering.

  5. #5
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    It's a soft Acoustic song. Do you know of Dashboard Confessional, Plain White T's, Howie Day. Stuff like that I guess.

  6. #6
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iwin View Post
    are you gonna use FL studio? Just wondering.
    Nope. I'm performing live at this bar and grill with my friend. He's my back-up singer, and lead acoustic guitarist. I'm the Rythem guitarist. He does all the cool solo shit, while I keep the beat I guess.

  7. #7
    Iwin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oneirish View Post
    Nope. I'm performing live at this bar and grill with my friend. He's my back-up singer, and lead acoustic guitarist. I'm the Rythem guitarist. He does all the cool solo shit, while I keep the beat I guess.
    Wow sounds fantastic man

    you should definitely record and put on YouTube first

    Edit: 1.6k posts
    Last edited by Iwin; 01-11-2009 at 10:00 PM.

  8. #8
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    Ya, Lol. I'll try. I need to get a good recording software to do with my friend. Or if someone films at one of my live performances.

  9. #9
    Iwin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oneirish View Post
    Ya, Lol. I'll try. I need to get a good recording software to do with my friend. Or if someone films at one of my live performances.
    When are you performing?

  10. #10
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    Umm in 1 week. So have to get everything ready. Opening for a guy named Brett Dennen. So it should be good.

  11. #11
    Iwin's Avatar
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    nice nice. good luck. I'll read over lyrics tomorrow

  12. #12
    Gourav2122's Avatar
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    tape it and post it on mpgh <3
    we would love to make fun of your singing

  13. #13
    Oneirish's Avatar
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    Gourav you haven't heard me. Dave, Arun, Paroxysm, and I think jetamay heard me sing, harmonica, and guitar. And liked it, so ya.

  14. #14
    Plokmii's Avatar
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    Looks like a good song Irish cant wait to hear
    Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.



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  15. #15
    Gourav2122's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oneirish View Post
    Gourav you haven't heard me. Dave, Arun, Paroxysm, and I think jetamay heard me sing, harmonica, and guitar. And liked it, so ya.
    i hurd you playing your austist guitar thangy some time ago
    meh..
    dont matter we will still find a way to make fun of you

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