Thread: Seriously?

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  1. #1
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    Seriously?

    So I work as a vendor in Home Depot, and the H&R block next to us just got broken into. So a pig comes in to check our security feed, but instead glares at me for ten fucking minutes and THEN follows me into the bathroom.

    As soon as I sit down to do ma business the pig starts fucking INTERROGATING ME, so I tell him to fuck off. He disn't like that too much apparently, because he then told me he was going to find the evidence to pin the break in on me, and I'll only get out of it when pigs fly. So being the genius I am, I said "guess I'm off Scott free then cuz I've definitely seen you pigs in helicopters". Then I let out a string of insults to him for interrupting my meditating time in the bathroom.

    So we go back and forth, and finally he says he's "ordering me out of the stall", so I said "as long as I canine your ugly ass face as toilet paper". That pissed him off MORE, and so he threatened to have cops watch my family, big mistake.while on the toilet, I called a relative of mine who's very good friends with the district sgt of the state police barracks in my area, and conferences me into the call.

    Meanwhile I'm still on the toilet, and I explain it all to him, and included vividly that my bowels are clenched from the anxiety (had to make things worse for the pig outside the stall). Next thing I hear the pigs radio go off and HIS sgt (btw it was a town cop doing this to me) screamed at him to leave me alone.

    So as he's walking away my boss walks in cracking up, and the prig goes "what do you think is so funny fat boy) to my boss, and my boss holds up a small disc and tells the pig "you do know that we have security cameras in here that prove my employees innocence right?", and the pigs face got SO RED (I finally was out of the stall) and he tried to walk out quickly, but not before one of my co workers blurts out "hope you enjoy donuts cuz your stats gunna rip yours a new one buddy!".

    Worst part is I already hate public restrooms, and this just made me see them as another means of getting arrested.

  2. #2
    RoLe's Avatar
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    too long for me to read.... My eyes can't handle such long texts, sorry...
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  3. #3
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    hhaahahaha

  4. #4
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    HATE COPS!

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    lol that's super funny. I hate profiling cops.

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    Pig being stupid

    Funny story

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  9. #7
    Tall kiwi's Avatar
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    i must admit, that was worth reading
    Oh hai der.

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  11. #8
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    Fucking pigs.


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  13. #9
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    Well, something similar is I got pulled over for curfew one night, but it wasn't even curfew.. It was only 9PM, and curfew wasn't for 2 hours as it was on the weekend. Funny thing is, I was high as hell and I was with 3 other heads.





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    Awww man... That was a quality read! Cop questioning someone when they take a shit! DAMNN!

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  16. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rigby View Post
    lol that's super funny. I hate profiling cops.
    Ever since I spray painted an Anarchy symbol on my old car they all hate me, now if I only knew why...........

    Quote Originally Posted by Dawgy Dawg View Post

    Pig being stupid

    Funny story
    Dem town cops are so unbelievably uneducated with the law it's not even funny sometimes, like when they try to write me a ticket for breaking the town sound ordinance.......when there is no ordinance and they don't even know what a Decibel Monitor is

    Quote Originally Posted by Tall kiwi View Post
    i must admit, that was worth reading
    Man if I made a thread about half the shit that happens to me with cops it'd take eight pages

    Quote Originally Posted by derkman View Post
    Fucking pigs.
    Dem bacons is sizzlin bro!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronus- View Post
    Well, something similar is I got pulled over for curfew one night, but it wasn't even curfew.. It was only 9PM, and curfew wasn't for 2 hours as it was on the weekend. Funny thing is, I was high as hell and I was with 3 other heads.
    Straight up bro, it seems that every time I go for an L ride I get pulled over RIGHT AFTER we finish it But yeah that's happened to me when I had my restricted, cops see kids and immediately think "easy ticket for the quote". Last time I got pulled over I had my friend with me who's a lawyer with his Masters (used to smoke with his son) and I was pulled over for not wearing my seatbelt and speeding, when I was wearing my seatbelt and going two UNDER the speed limit cuz the asshole was tailing me. Dat cop got demoted to a school district officer after my buddy got through with him


    ---------- Post added at 05:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:11 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by REVIVE View Post
    Awww man... That was a quality read! Cop questioning someone when they take a shit! DAMNN!
    Dude, I swear if I were wearing pants I would have shit em, thank god I was on the toilet! This is the kind of shit you'll find only in Jersey

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  18. #12
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    You told him off right.
    What the fuck kind of guy follows another into a bathroom?
    Did you break into the H&R Block?





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  20. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by AWildPatriot View Post
    You told him off right.
    What the fuck kind of guy follows another into a bathroom?
    Did you break into the H&R Block?
    Hello no H&R block has no money inside of it, they don't even keep permanent records of peoples private information, and they're a Seasonal company that opens three times a year. The only thing in that place is white paper and some old crap computers
    Leads me to believe some retarded heroin addict went for it. There's quite a few in the town I work in, thank god I don't live here

  21. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lehsyrus View Post


    Hello no H&R block has no money inside of it, they don't even keep permanent records of peoples private information, and they're a Seasonal company that opens three times a year. The only thing in that place is white paper and some old crap computers
    Leads me to believe some retarded heroin addict went for it. There's quite a few in the town I work in, thank god I don't live here
    Maybe.. it was zombies.
    Damnit.





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  23. #15
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    So worth the read, that was hilarious.. what a dumb ass cop


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