I'm a cat, so get me some catnip, ham and some good hard porn and i'll be fat and sweaty in no time.
Anyways, feed your cat some tuna (make sure the oil shit is out of the can first) Also go to the pet store and ask. Be like "Eh yo! Gay lord in teh pet shop got food fo meh cat?" he be like "Helll yeh" /nuff said xD